(അല്പം ചീഞ്ഞ) ഒരു ഉള്ളികഥ

പറോട്ടയും ചില്ലി ചിക്കനും കഴിക്കണമെങ്കിൽ സിലോൺ ബേക് ഹൌസിൽ പോകണം.

പോയി, എം ജി റോഡിലെ കടയിൽ തന്നെ പോയി.

നല്ല ഒന്നൊന്നര പെറോട്ട, രുചിയേറിയ ചില്ലി ചിക്കൻ. എന്ന പിന്നെ പോരട്ടെ ഒരു ചിക്കൻ 65 കൂടെ.

എല്ലാം കൊള്ളാം. ആസ്വദിച്ചു കഴിച്ചു കൊണ്ടിരിക്കുമ്പോളാണ് ചിക്കൻ 65-ഇനോട്‌  ഒപ്പമുള്ള ഉള്ളിക്കു ഒരു രുചി വ്യത്യാസം തോന്നിത്തുടങ്ങിയത്.
കൂടെ വന്ന സച്ചിനും അത് സ്ഥിതീകരിച്ചു. സംഭവം ചീഞ്ഞതാണ്.

വെയ്റ്ററിനെ വിളിച്ചു.

ഞാൻ: ഇതിലെ ഉള്ളിക്കെന്തോ പന്തികേടുണ്ടല്ലോ? ചീഞ്ഞിട്ടുണ്ട്
തികച്ചും നിർവികാരനായി വെയ്റ്റർ: ശരിയാരിക്കും സർ. കാലത്തേ അരിഞ്ഞു വക്കുന്നതല്ലേ, കേടായി കാണും.

പ്ലിങ്

ഞാൻ: സഹോദരാ, നിങ്ങളുടെ മാനേജറിനെ ഒന്ന് വിളിക്കാമോ?
ഭക്ഷണം ബലേ ഭേഷ് എന്ന അഭിപ്രായം കേട്ട് 100 വാട്ടിന്റെ ബൾബ് കത്തിയപോലത്തെ മുഖവുമായി പുള്ളിക്കാരൻ പോയി മാനേജറിനെ കൊണ്ട് വന്നു

ഞാൻ: ഈ ചിക്കൻ 65 ഇലെ ഉള്ളി ചീഞ്ഞതാണ്. ഇങ്ങനെ പഴകിയ ഭക്ഷണം തരുന്നത് മോശമല്ലേ.
ക്ലോസപ്പ് ആത്മവിശ്വസത്തോടെ  മാനേജർ: പഴകിയതല്ല സർ. അത് ഇന്നലത്തെ ഭക്ഷണം അല്ല. ഇന്ന് കാലത്തേ അരിഞ്ഞതാണ്, കേടായിക്കാനും ശരിയാ. പക്ഷെ പഴകിയതല്ല സർ.

വീണ്ടും പ്ലിങ്

ഇതിപ്പോ എനിക്കു വട്ടായതാണോ അതോ ഈ ഹോട്ടലിൽ ജോലി ചെയ്യുന്ന എല്ലാവര്ക്കും വട്ടായതാണോ എന്ന കൺഫ്യൂഷനിൽ ഞങ്ങൾ  നാരങ്ങാവെള്ളവും കുടിച്ചു ബില്ലുമടച്ചു വിടവാങ്ങി.


നാളെ കാലത്തേ തീയറ്ററിൽ കേസ് സ്റ്റാർട്ട് ചെയ്യാൻ പറ്റുമോ എന്തോ. എന്റെ ors പരമ്പര ദൈവങ്ങളേ കാത്തോളണേ.
(വയർ തടവുന്നു)

Sports and I

സ്പോർട്സ്! തീരെ പറ്റില്ല. ജീവിതത്തിൽ ഇതുവരെ ഉള്ള സ്പോർട്സുമായുള്ള ബന്ധം, നഴ്സറിയിൽ (ബാലഭവൻ) പഠിക്കുമ്പോ തവള ചാട്ടം, കസേര കളി, ഓട്ട മത്സരം എന്നീ മൂന്നു ഐറ്റംസിൽ കിട്ടിയ ഒന്നാം സ്ഥാനങ്ങൾ ആണ്. (അന്ന് സമ്മാനമായി കിട്ടിയതോ മൂന്നു പാത്രങ്ങൾ...ആഹാ ഇതാണ് സിമ്പോളിസം!)

WWF (ഇപ്പൊ WWE ) അഥവാ ഗുസ്തി, ഗുസ്തിക്കാരുടെ പടമുള്ള ‘trump കാർഡ്’ കളി എന്നിവയാണ് പിന്നീടുണ്ടായ ‘സ്പോർട്സ് കമ്പം’. ഫുട്ബോളിനോടും ടെന്നിസിനോടും ഒരു ചെറിയ ചായ്വുണ്ട്. ചായ്വ് മാത്രം.

ഇത്രയും പറഞ്ഞത്...മേലാൽ എന്നോട് ‘ഇന്നലത്തെ കളി കണ്ടാർന്നോ?’ ‘സ്കോർ എന്തായി’ തുടങ്ങിയ ചോദ്യങ്ങൾ ചോദിച്ചു ബുദ്ധിമുട്ടിപ്പിക്കാണ്ടിരിക്കാൻ.

(NB: I do get the required adrenaline gushes while watching the ‘thrilling’ moments irrespective of the category of sports. But I don’t follow up.

And I don’t watch WWE anymore...what’s a ring without the Undertaker, Stone Cold or The Rock(?))

Location:Kollam,India

My Jio

പ്രിയ ജിയോ മോന്, 

ദാനം കിട്ടിയ പശുവിന്റെ പല്ലിൽ കമ്പി ഇട്ടിട്ടുണ്ടോ എന്ന് നോക്കാൻ പാടില്ലാത്തതാണ്. ദിവസം നാലും അഞ്ചും പടങ്ങളൊക്കെ ഡൌൺലോഡ് ചെയ്യാൻ പറ്റുന്നുമുണ്ട്. എന്നാലും പറയാതെ വയ്യ, ഇങ്ങടെ networkum വച്ച് ഒരാളെ ഫോൺ വിളിക്കാൻ നോക്കിയാ ചിലപ്പോഴൊക്കെ വെറുപ്പിക്കലാ. പിന്നെ മുതൽമുടക്ക് പൂജ്യം എന്നത് കൊണ്ട് യാതൊരു നഷ്ടബോധവും ഇല്ല. 

ഇങ്ങടെ വരവോടെ postpaid കണക്ഷനിൽ നിന്നും പ്രീപെയ്ഡ് ആയി അധഃപതിച്ച കൊള്ളപലിശക്കാരൻ എയർടെൽ സമേതം പല്ലിറുക്കി കാണിക്കുന്നു. പഹയൻ മ്മടെ പേഴ്സ് കുറെ വിഴുങ്ങീട്ടുണ്ട്  പണ്ട്. ഡിസംബർ 31 നു ശേഷം ആ ഹിമാറിനെ ബീണ്ടും എടുക്കേണ്ടി വര്ത്തിക്കുമോ? MTS data കാർഡ് ഒക്കെ പടമാക്കി ഫ്രെയിം ചെയ്തു മാലയിട്ടു വച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട് തത്കാലം.

പുത്തനച്ചി പുരപ്പുറം vaacum cleaner ഇട്ടു തന്നെ പണിയുന്നുണ്ട്. 

നമോവാകം 

കൊച്ചു 

(ഒപ്പ്) 

Location:Kanayannur,India

Break

How a Hospital Duty looks like

MBBS vs 'Verum MBBS'

Responses you get as soon as you achieve an MBBS admission:

• “Monu MBBS kitty alle? Brilliant aanallo”
• “Nannaayeda, nalloru Doctor aakanam keto”
• “Thiruvananthapuram Medical Collegilo? Great Mone, midukkan”

Responses you get as soon as you pass out of a Medical College with your MBBS degree:

• “Verum MBBSey ullu alle”
• “Ho ee MBBS matramokke kondu ippo enna cheyyana”
• “Ee verum MBBS karkonnum ippo vila illanne”
• “Ethila PG edukkan pone?”                                             
• “Ithu vare MD kitteelle?”

The following response was a shocker; it came from a tenth standard kid actually:

• “Annan MBBS matre padichitullu alle? Appo doctor alle?”                                                         

Things are more atrocious if an MBBS guy falls in love with a gal doing her MBBS:

• “Chekkan verum MBBS alle? Ha  MD kittuanel nokkam”

the Lion, the Old Man and the MAGIC BULLET

A 75 year partially deaf old man with COPD (a respiratory disease) kept on insisting  that I prescribe the particular dissoluble powder that when drunk (mixed with water) used to relieve his breathing problems. I scanned his documents...found nothing fruitful. To be frank I was ignorant of such a powder! So at last I asked him to bring the magic powder.


After an hour he reaches my room. He gave me a wrapped up sachet.
I haven't unwrapped Snickers with such haste...

The magic drug was nothing else but O.R.S.

It took five minutes explaining to him what O.R.S was. Felt bad, most of his older prescription had orders for O.R.S. The patient denied of suffering diarrhoea (yeah yeah Everybody Lies!).

He left. Sigh! I had shattered his belief, the placebo wouldn't work any more. The disappointment that shadowed his face when he learnt that the magic drug was only meant for dehydration...was...frankly (yeah yeah slap me)...funny!

(Now before I'm branded 'SADIST', I leave...)

update: Officially a Doctor (I prefer the Half Doc.status) at last. Currently doing the 'compelled' rural service at Primary Health Center at PERUMON, Kollam, Kerala.

Doctor's 'IN' :The Vithura Chapter (mal title: Ningalenney Doctor Aakki)

"He who studies medicine without books sails an uncharted sea, but he who studies medicine without patients does not go to sea at all," said Osler.

Patients are interesting books to read and in that sense I read a lot these days. What follows are some of the conversations that hit my ear drums during my stay at Primary Health Centre, Pangappara and Community Health Centre, Vithura.

1)"Pani ennalle paranjathu, athinu moothrama parishodhikendey?"

(I said Fever and you want my urine tested?)

2) A 24hr duty is usually awesome, but on this rather terrific day I received an emergency call from the duty nurse.

I rushed, but this is what the patient had for me:

"Marumole kaanan vendi vannatha. Ithinadutha avalde veedu. Ivide doctor undennu kettappo onnu kandittu povannu vachu."

(I was here to visit my daughter-in-law who stays near by. Someone said the doctor is available, thought of checking out)

3) Even the moon was yawning at 2.45am when my colleague who was sound asleep in his duty room heard his door being knocked. He rises, searches for the stethoscope, opens the door.

"Staff nursa Doctorjee, urakkam varanilla. Enthenkilum kazikkano?"

(I'm a staff nurse Doctorjee, I'm not feeling sleepy)

4) "Nalla gasinte shalyama Doctor. Njan purathottu oothy vare nokki, ennittum aaswasam kittanilla"

("Severe gas trouble Doctor. I even tried blowing out air, there's no relief.)

5) Patient:"Wheezing's there Doc, nebulisation will do.

Gas trouble, antacid will do.

A slight fever, paracetamol will do.

Tiredness, vitamin tablet will do."

I : Anything else sir? Coffee?

6) My colleague notices an empty 500ml Pepsi bottle with the patient, "Enthina amme ee kuppi?" (What is this bottle for?). The old lady replies, "Oh kazinja thavana thanna chumakkulla marunnu thikanjathe illla mone. Athondu ithavana immini balya kuppeel thanna mathy". (Translation won't work here!!!)

7) A pretty young female patient walks into my colleague's OP and complaints, "Severe headache after I talked over phone continuously for 12 hours. Is something wrong?"

8) Patients and patience are what a doctor needs. I was having my dinner and I get a call from the emergency room. I run to the casualty room and finds the patient.

I : Yes?

Patient: Cold and running nose.

I : Since?

Patient: Yesterday

I : Now that's supposed to be an emergency?

Patient: Err...isn't it?

I could do nothing else but blast her off.

Here's one of the commonest replies that you get while enquiring for drug history:

I: Enthu marunna amme blood pressurinu kazikunne? (What medication do you have for Hypertension?)

Patient: Oh. Athoru chuvanna vattathilulla cheriya gulikaya mone (Oh. It's a tiny red round tablet)

...

‎"The simultaneous occurrence of scabies in a doctor and a nurse may mean that they have shared nothing more exciting than a patient with Norwegian scabies."

Dark room, Radiologist and Condom

Introduction:

Accompanying a patient for his/her imaging is a double edged sword. At times it gifts you a comfortable alibi when your 'co-interns' are drenched in sweat during an admission day in the emergency room (better known as the casualty), at other times you sweat yourselves out in the process of accompaniment.

If this sounded like a weird medical jargon. Here's the whole concept. It's been ages since one of the prime lifts in our prestigious hospital withered out. That means, any patient irrespective of the fatal potential of his medical ailment will have to wait for an ambulance (read that as minutes to hours), suffer whatever damage a busy traffic and 'typical Keralite roads' can offer and finally reach the imaging center.

A doctor (preferably loquacious)will have to accompany the patient during the process. Provided the patient is rather stable, the job works fine. Except for the miserable journey in the ambulance the whole trip is refreshing (from personal experience) since once the destination is reached, he can spend time in air-conditioned cabins provided by the Department of Radio diagnosis till the imaging process gets completed (However a collapsing patient is a source of palpitation for the doctor himself).

(Technically this introduction has little to do with the rest of this page. Don't ask me why I put it here)

What happened:

Internship or House surgeonsy is where a half-doctor begins his quest to completion. My pursuit (this has nothing to do with the EternalRemanan!) began months back. Two months with Surgeons gave me sufficient matter to fill my time line. I thought that was it, but no. The department of Obs & Gynec has started to add more fun.

Scene: A female patient suspected to have ectopic pregnancy (in plain English: pregnancy anywhere else but not in the uterus).
Condition of the patient: Stable
Requirement: Ultrasound scan-Abdomen
Complication: She speaks the kind of Hindi that even noted 'Hindi speaking Malayali PostGraduates' find hard to comprehend.
Environment: Rainy

The ambulance is unavailable. So young doctor stuffs himself in an auto-rickshaw, along with the lady, her 'Nepali' husband. Reaches the scan center. Meets the radiologist, a rather obese lady (doesn't mean that the young doctor was dead ringer for Dard-E-Disco lead).

Dark room. Radiologist. Sisterji. The Hindi patient. Young doctor.

Except for the physical presence, the young doctor knows little about the intricacies of ultrasound imaging.

Okay. Radiologist- "Where's the condom?"

Err...I return her nothing but a startled look. She extends her hands to the sisterji. Sisterji searches the table and hands her something.

Ahem.

She turns to me. My expression should have carried her to any of the viva voce sessions she passed through as an undergraduate. (Read that as 'blank look', Malayalis may read that as 'blinkasya')

"Well I need a trans vaginal ultrasound for her. Hmmm do you prefer to share this room or..."

I could hardly give her time to complete. I rushed out of the room. Walked out of the scan center. Crossed the road. Bought a bottle of mineral water. Finished it. Waited (along with the husband) for the scanning process to be over.

Journey back-uneventful.

Lessons to carry: Ignorance is bliss. A trans-vaginal ultrasound scan uses a probe covered with a condom and a gel.

the Eternal Remanan

The very ecstasy that elevated me to pinnacles of happiness finally pulled me into a black hole that erased three long months from my time line.

My other self finally decided to bid bye. The fairy tale that I scripted preferred not to conclude with a ‘thus they lived happily ever after’. It was the best of times, in the beginning, and then walked in the worst of the times and I guess still better times have already set out to meet me in the midst of another fairy tale in some other world.

Some say this is it, some say this is just the beginning. Well, the truth is, it’s always like this. Life’s one big joke, laugh at it or someone else will. Now that I’ve filled the space with lots of perplexity mixed with the schizophrenic school of thoughts (now stop guessing what it is…I don’t know)

This is the beginning of the adorable aftermath. The most unexpected twists will be unleashed. A trillion neurons will begin to fire…as the Eternal Remanan begins his cruise.

"Every end, is a beginning"-Eternal Remanan

(Alternate titles: Tempest in a teapot or Storm in a teacup)

Courtesy: Pic-adapted fromDon Quixote by Denis Ziber

the Great Indian Thamasha:STOP PRESS

Ignorance is bliss...when it comes to India

Mayavati: Age 54(?)

The currency garland: worth 18lakh?21lakh?21crore? (INR)

Country: India, Home of Mukesh Ambani



Sarjana: Age 6
Country: India, Home of the Mahatma

Six-year-old Sarjana, a class I student, has been raising money for those left homeless by Aila, the cyclone that hit West Bengal in May 2009.

Disturbed by images of devastation caused by the cyclone and eager to help, Sarjana has been singing and dancing on railway platforms to collect money from passers-by.

On Wednesday, this student of the Calcutta Public School met President Pratibha Patil with a cheque for Rs.205 for the Prime Minister's Relief Fund. Sarjana earned this money from a programme she did for All India Radio, Kolkata.

Two more cool images that'll make the insane yell out "Proud to be an Indian"


A Rajya Sabha member (left) tries to snatch copies of the Women's Reservation Bill from House Chairman Hamid Ansari on Monday.

The world's largest democracy elects the most culture less asses 2 de Upper House.


No Comments at all

I thought I was one of the biggest megalomaniacs around

(All news gathered from The Hindu)

Philip Kaun Hai (Who is Philip?)

-->

“Philip, tell me the pediatric dose of Ampicillin”

“Philip, what is the Plan C management of Acute Diarrheal Disease”

“Philip, Philip, Philip”

I begin to yawn

“Philip, Philip, Philip”

Thank god, it’s a classroom, and it’s the final year. There is no reason to panic. Self Control is an automated adaptation for survival. The green eyed monster is having a hard time trying the strenuous act of concentrating. It’s tough when the tutor is a pleasing appeal to the senses. When the smile is charming, the voice is filled with mesmerizing notes, and all these graceful facets are superimposed on excellent teaching skills, the end product is a serious mess in the minds of the innocuous listener.

Let’s call her Hema Ma’am. The first few dialogues used to be repeated whenever she took classes for us. It’s not that “Nithin Jayan”, or “Nithin Humayoon” or “Pooja” never reverberated in the air, but “Philip” itched my nerves. The guy is gifted with real ‘looks’, stupid chicks think he smiles like Tom Cruise…then he’s also a genius who spares very few hours to score well!!! So that means bitterness is justified.

That was about the first pediatrics postings that occurred months back. Time crawled by. Months later we are back. Same department, same unit, same set of professors, nothing has changed except for the minuscule changes that sprouted up as tiny grey hairs in *her head. (*Hema ma’am who else?) Philip is high and mighty these days. He would knock every one down so as to be the first one to step into Hema Ma’am’s O.P.room.

I yawned again. None of us needed an introduction.

But twists do happen.

Pointing at Philip, Hema Ma’am asked, “And You ARE?”

Silence…eyeballs pop out…everyone’s stunned…

TADA…music plays…drums

Tsunami?

“Philip”, he replies.

I am surprised.

“So you are Philip?” Madam’s question should have drilled through his heart.

“But, hmmm, is there another Philip in your class?” Madam probed again.

“No ma’am he’s the only one”, my voice was filled with evil satisfaction and a pinch of salt.

“I thought there was another Philip”

That’s it, that’s it

CHEERS.

Similar episodes recurred in the following days. Other tutors began to ask for “Philip”, but not our Philip.

Thus Mr. Tom Cruise is finally our new goal post.

“Malappuram Kathi, Nadan Bomb, avasanam Pavanayi shavamayi” the famous Malayalam ‘quote’ reverberate in the same air that once cradled “Philip, Philip, Philip”

Question still stays. Who’s this new Philip? Mystery continues

Gravity

Colloquially "De World Sucks"...

Technically it's called Gravity

The CASE HISTORY of a Medico...

Tic tic tic...

The clock is still on...not an attempt do I make to slow it down or stop the second hand. I love this change...for I’m still an immature learner and I don’t think I’ll get a better mentor than Time himself. I hardly remember a line of the Hippocratic oath...oops...because ‘feverish’ is the term I still find fit to describe the emotional state I was in on the first day of college. (Hmm I’ll master the lines...hmm...by graduation!!!)

Everything was bound to change. Those were the days when I feared the term ‘change’...I had no idea what it would be like...a life without the neck-tie, the morning assemblies...’college’ was a new addition to my lexicon.

Changes began...I never knew...though it was my own life. I didn’t have to manipulate anything around me. Neither could I apprehend if the universe was really conspiring, the way Paulo Coelho postulates.

Tic tic tic...

Not a thing enjoyed an eternal position, not even the strong formalin vapours that plunged my olfactory senses once I stepped into the world of cadavers (The Anatomy dissection hall...where the dead enlightened the living). The stench in the mortuary where I stood, recording the process of a post-mortem examination a few years later was harder to forget.

People walked in...Some rushed out...other still stay...but now I have better lenses, crystal clear...I measure distances with greater precision.

‘I had no idea of whatever happened...everything was automated’, thus went the first year.
‘I started to figure out things around me’, and so went the second and third years.

Seasons cycled...but not many notes in the song of my life did repeat. I kept exploring...at times conscious, at others carried by the wind.

I began to listen to new tunes...tasted new levels of acidities...not all the dishes were sweet...

(a snap by Azgar)

Tic tic tic...

Redefinition is now a routine. I now realise that many of the objects I gulped in, against my wishes...all that were rotten to my nose and eyes, actually smelt good. Forensic medicine...the microscopes...even the mammoth text of Preventive medicine, all come to my aid even when I forget to summon. The newspapers have columns I never noticed before...people around me have traits I never noticed before.

The fourth year was the golden era...I felt into deep crevices, climbed peaks...experimented with myself...discovered the inner dimensions that always hid within time. For the first time, I felt...like complaining, ‘why is Time in such a rush’...what is Time making a bee-line for? Why can’t Time let me rest in his plate of largesse?

Tic tic tic...

The final mayhem begins next week. The final year of my course...

Tic tic tic...

Did time really move that fast...? Oh! Lord I am about to be ‘the final year’ student...Oh! Lord...they say I’m no more supposed to err...!!!

The stethoscope...the medical kit...o...o....here I dress up...wait where’s my coat...ANYBODY SEEN MY COAT...O...HOIIIIIIIII........??? Hmm there are few things that never succumb to the rule of ‘change’...O O...Hey N werz the pen torch...?? HELLOOOO


(pics are from the collections of Azgar)

SWAYAMVARA-de ‘Inverse’ one...

(not produced by Ekta kapoor!!!)

It’s raining n raining n raining. The room temperature is too soothing that I find it hard to rise. Well Soorya is already smiling from the east. Long have I been planning to delay his morning rush...hmmm...twice I tried unscrewing the wheels of that chariot...bribed his driver...nothing ever worked. Hmmm...and that meant...Mom’s gonna let me sleep only till the sunrays hit my butts...ooo...sorry...a prince has to have better control over his tongue...oh you boneless thing...hold yourself.

Well with due respect to the Readers’ Protection Act (RPA), here i reveal who i am.

Well I am Prince Vaimukya...the younger son of The lord of Vishathapura. Dad...passed the RPA weeks back, “Every reader has his/her rights to understand what he/she is reading”. Well he is a genius...no no not ‘coz he’s my dad.

Well today is the d-day...it’s my ‘inverse swayamvara’. Puzzled...? Don’t worry...the whole world is...at this moment. Never before has the term ‘inverse swayamvara’ echoed in any kingdom on earth. Told you right?...dad’s a genius...!!!

The prettiest damsels from every nook of the globe will be here...today...n I...Prince Vaimukya will choose...my bride.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

NAAARADAAAAAAAA...what r ye doing here...how many times should I repeat...?? There’s a door over there that u can knock...

Narada: Ooo...sorry prince...too much is the care that I have for ye...how can poor narada prevent himself from rushing to the aid of the handsome prince.
Prince: Oh well...good...what’s the hot news...??? And hey if it’s evil...im not gonna leave you this time...get ready for a septorhinoplasty...I hear that Sushrutha’s grand grand son has already graduated.

Narada: No no prince...i’m here with a piece of golden advice...

Prince: Yeah the last advice you bestowed me with cost me the girl i loved.

Narada: Ooo...Pricess Shudhika from the neighbourhood??? C’MON i saved u my prince. Did you hear? She married...last week...she flooded the rostrum with her tears...when her parents said bye...and the new groom was all smiling.

I hear now that the situation reversed...the husband is now weeping n the princess “tee-hee”

Prince: oo...k...What’s it now...?

Narada: This time i’m wise...prince...You are about to select your soul mate...I sneaked through the applications. All look good...but don’t you fall in for the beauty...some are fair....but don’t trust that too...roses do have thorns but that doesn’t mean amanitas aren’t toxic...

Prince: So u r telling both...i shouldn’t be lured by beauty...neither should i fall in for modesty and simplicity. Tell me oh sage...what should i go for?

Narada: LUCK...!!! Yes prince...never can you trust your vision...not even the senses are reliable...Just imagine, it's the first night and the pretty English rose says she ain't a virgin??

Prince: Hmm...i'm a liberal...you see...

Narada: Ha ha...really sure...?? I was telling about "YOUR" first night...n 'your' wife...
Prince: Hmmm...it's hard to imagine...but...
Narada: That's it...anyone can bluff till stuffs happen in their own lives...!!! This is why i said...it’s just LUCK...

Prince: Well...i won't divorce her anyway...what if her heart is pure? But...true I’ll have to bear the pain...still...

Narada: Marriage is a lucky draw...o prince...sometimes the ticket you pick is the lucky one...you hit the lucky draw...else it remains in your pocket as a worthless piece of paper...

Prince: o...ooo...now you've lit the lamp of perplexity in my brain...come with me then o farsighted sage...help me choose the best...

Vigneswara...hope everything goes well...DAAD...I'm ready...

Queen: Oh! Handsome prince...wishing you the very best...

Dad: (ha ha...so my son's gonna land up in the same dungeon i fell into years back...god save him) Good luck son...

Narada: (invisible) Prince, check her out...that's princess Lakshana...

Prince: Aaha...i've seen her before...at the Chandrotsava last month...hmmm...long hair...nice saree...chubby cheeks...cute smile...

Narada: She dances...she sings...hmmm...she's a woman of letters too...

Prince: ooo Narada...this is my girl...the one i've been waiting for...ages have i spent waiting...miles have i tread searching...

Narada: That dialogue was used when u met Shudhika...

Prince: How dare you remind me of her again...you good for nothing sage...ready to face my vengeance??

Narada: oh no prince...i'm sorry...hmmm i think this 'is' the girl...!!!

What followed was a biiiiig faaaat wedding....the biggest one ever held...

Did the prince get lucky??

NAARAYANA NAARAYANA...

a RuMbLE in de MCH

Starring: A rusty elevator at one dark corner of the Medical College Hospital

Me:Uncle...hey hey...watz mr.Quilon doin here...? :)

Uncle: Wow...who do i have here jr.dr...gr8

Me: :) So uncle howz aunt doin?

Uncle: Oh she’s wid me son. We’ve got an appointment wid de neurologist. It’s our first visit to here. Tell me where his room is...

Me: errr...hmmm...yeah gotcha...it’s downstairs uncle...come i’ll give an official escort...

Uncle: Oh no way...can’t disturb u...itz study hours right?

Me: No probs uncle...it’s de clinical postings...now @ de dept. Of ENT...hmm technically otorhinolaryngology

Uncle: K...she’ll find it hard 2 walk dear...

Me: Letz fly down then...ta ta da...here v move towards de lift...

Uncle: He he...c’mon son.

En route...i kept on chatting wid aunt...she looked older n weaker...poor thing...unknown condition that’s weakening her limb muscles...

At last...here v r....hey itz spooky right here...god...y is dis corner of de abode of clamouring patients so dead silent? Haven’t i stepped here b4? I was puzzled...!!!

Uncle: ooo...wat do v hav here?

Me: Exactly uncle...that’s what im thinking...n ahem ahem...2 b honest i’ve never noticed this corner...

Facing us was a mammoth door that seemed to be sealed in the Jurassic era. The red colour didn’t shine. I searched for the lift button.

Me: Oh i’ve competition...a spider seems to have been searching for it since time immemorial...and in the process he probably raised a whole family. A strong spider web was shaking at my voice.

Hello...nibody der???

A nurse peeped through a nearby room..."oh doctorji...sorry...de button won’t work. Your coat might burn!!!"

Me: Am i supposed to knock the door then n shout ‘tic tic sumone der?’

BINGO dOCTORji...

Uncle: omg

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Uncle: Open sesame...

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Me: Oh this is bad really bad.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

Hey do i hear something

Uncle: Lemme press my ear to the door.

Aunt: Hey Ravi...lend your stethoscope to him...

Me: he he (errr...holy shit y so...)

Me: Uncle...leave it...i think aunt needs some kinda ‘physiotherapy’ lemme test het motor functions.

Uncle: Hmm werz de ramp?

Me: STAIRCASE...

Aunt: No ramp???

Me: (disappointed) Not in the vicinity...

We started to wheel her towards the staircase few metres away...

CREEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK..RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..RUMPPPPPPPPPPPP......THUDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Uncle: OH MY GOD...EARTHQUAKE?? HE HE

Another patient from a distance: Hey lucky people...de LIFT GOD IS PLEASED WID U IT SEEMS...man itz a blue moon!!!

The door opened wid a roar...An angry sleepy lift operator was busy reading the newspaper...

“The next time u knock try something harder say...a knee hammer made of titanium...doctor ji...

(Dedicated to the Hon'ble Kerala Health Minister PK Sreemathi)

Though exaggerated to extremes the real scenario ain't really good.