Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dark room, Radiologist and Condom


Accompanying a patient for his/her imaging is a double edged sword. At times it gifts you a comfortable alibi when your 'co-interns' are drenched in sweat during an admission day in the emergency room (better known as the casualty), at other times you sweat yourselves out in the process of accompaniment.

If this sounded like a weird medical jargon. Here's the whole concept. It's been ages since one of the prime lifts in our prestigious hospital withered out. That means, any patient irrespective of the fatal potential of his medical ailment will have to wait for an ambulance (read that as minutes to hours), suffer whatever damage a busy traffic and 'typical Keralite roads' can offer and finally reach the imaging center.

A doctor (preferably loquacious)will have to accompany the patient during the process. Provided the patient is rather stable, the job works fine. Except for the miserable journey in the ambulance the whole trip is refreshing (from personal experience) since once the destination is reached, he can spend time in air-conditioned cabins provided by the Department of Radio diagnosis till the imaging process gets completed (However a collapsing patient is a source of palpitation for the doctor himself).

(Technically this introduction has little to do with the rest of this page. Don't ask me why I put it here)

What happened:

Internship or House surgeonsy is where a half-doctor begins his quest to completion. My pursuit (this has nothing to do with the EternalRemanan!) began months back. Two months with Surgeons gave me sufficient matter to fill my time line. I thought that was it, but no. The department of Obs & Gynec has started to add more fun.

Scene: A female patient suspected to have ectopic pregnancy (in plain English: pregnancy anywhere else but not in the uterus).
Condition of the patient: Stable
Requirement: Ultrasound scan-Abdomen
Complication: She speaks the kind of Hindi that even noted 'Hindi speaking Malayali PostGraduates' find hard to comprehend.
Environment: Rainy

The ambulance is unavailable. So young doctor stuffs himself in an auto-rickshaw, along with the lady, her 'Nepali' husband. Reaches the scan center. Meets the radiologist, a rather obese lady (doesn't mean that the young doctor was dead ringer for Dard-E-Disco lead).

Dark room. Radiologist. Sisterji. The Hindi patient. Young doctor.

Except for the physical presence, the young doctor knows little about the intricacies of ultrasound imaging.

Okay. Radiologist- "Where's the condom?"

Err...I return her nothing but a startled look. She extends her hands to the sisterji. Sisterji searches the table and hands her something.


She turns to me. My expression should have carried her to any of the viva voce sessions she passed through as an undergraduate. (Read that as 'blank look', Malayalis may read that as 'blinkasya')

"Well I need a trans vaginal ultrasound for her. Hmmm do you prefer to share this room or..."

I could hardly give her time to complete. I rushed out of the room. Walked out of the scan center. Crossed the road. Bought a bottle of mineral water. Finished it. Waited (along with the husband) for the scanning process to be over.

Journey back-uneventful.

Lessons to carry: Ignorance is bliss. A trans-vaginal ultrasound scan uses a probe covered with a condom and a gel.


Teena in Toronto said...

Happy blogoversary :)

k.ø.c.h.ü said...


Wow...I forgot that...absolutely !!! Great...! so my blog is 3 years old ? :)

Me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Me said...

that was funny!

1. There was a mass casualty and I had to accompany a pt to CT scan. I don't know why he needed a CT(oh..they were playing triage) the pt was already drowning in his own blood and i was supposed to take him for ct and i was armed with atropine adrenaline..for what? had to "stage" a cpcr in front of CT room. Mission accomplished. Shifted to SICU, completed paper work.

2. Well, Young male HS. Male gynecologist. Dark room. Malayali patient :P
>Get me the condom..
>There's a whole box down there.
Ya, got it it is.
>In the place where i did PG, we were supposed to carry spare condoms in our pocket. U never know when to do a trans vaginal.
Right sir!

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@ me

cheers :) :)

Abilash J Ram said...

hehe.. kidu..!! :)

k.ø.c.h.ü said...


he he. It happnd 4 real

Destiny's child... said...

That was really funny. Hope God blesses you with more of such 'enlightening' and 'enriching' experiences in the future! ;)

k.ø.c.h.ü said...


my closet is almost overloaded with experiences..!!! :) will someday...complete sharing them all!!!

Holly Jahangiri said...

LOL!! As a woman who has had to have this procedure, the thought of a young male intern running out for bottled water (pretty much any excuse will do) makes me laugh!

My doctor (an older man) put the condom on the probe and asked me, "You know what this is?"

"Of course I do."

"That's good - NOT knowing is why many of my patients come to see me."

Holly Jahangiri
It's All a Matter of Perspective

k.ø.c.h.ü said...


:) :)