Friday, April 24, 2009

wen de Dead stay...

(FICTION wid Bits of reality!!!)

God pours life into death and death into life without a drop being spilled. ~Author Unknown

The look on his face gave me a shock. I can imagine how bewildered Amma would be. He didn't speak much. "Ma, i need some water"

The face was apparently puffy. Eyes gave a look of terror.

I shared my room that night. Hoped everything would come under control by dawn. Yeah...things got better.

Me:So Vivek, you were all around with a 100watt brightness during the party. This must have been the best anniversary that our grant parents enjoyed. What took you off?

Vivek: I don't know da. I can't explain. I felt my tummy would burst. I couldn't breath. I was nearly dead with fear. Everything came in fast...

Me: Fear?

Amma: Vivi, you remember the date right?

Me: Amma...i think hyperacidity fits more than this 'date' crap

Vivek: No Aji...she has a point.

It was exactly on the same day last summer when a car crash took away Vineetha...hardly a year since their wedding. It took months for Vivek to be come out of the depression. To make things worse. We had the elite panel of senior citizens who recommended "Mrityunjaya Homa" "Bhagavathy Seva" etc...I used to mock them, "Yeah so the smiles of god and the dead cost kilos of cash...??" Each pooja used to bust about 10,000Rs. Vivek however continued to have episodes like the recent one.

Me: Vivi, how many pegs did u have? Probably booze gave u a distended abdomen...raised the diaphragm, gave your chest less space for expansion.

Vivek: okay...okay...that fits. But i don't experience hyper acidity whenever i drink...moreover i didn't drink much yesterday.

Me: Actually Vivi...I don't remember saying that 'drinking produces acidity' is a rule.

Amma: Do u really want to be rude with him now Aji?

Hmm...she has a point. I was frustrated anyway. Vineetha was charming and lovely. She used to love him more than anything else. So why do these people give her the touch of a villain? If she is would be for good and not to give her husband hypertension and tachycardia. Vivek was in the emergency observation room for 4 hours last saturday.

Me: Hey vivi...i think we'll add some anxiolitic just to allay this fear factor.

Vivek: Hit me a name medico...

Me: No way..i would have recommended Alprazolam but 4 years in medical school won't match the 25 years' experience of our Sreedhar uncle he he.

Dr.Sreedhar is one of the best physicians in town.

" Famonite thrice daily and Alprax before bed"...the first one was for acidity and the second for anxiety.


Amma: So vivi...hope u r fine now..

Vivi: Yeah :)

Me: Told u people right? Science is Real.

Amma: Yeah but that doesn't mean students of science are atheists.

Me: C'mon i am not an atheist...i don't believe in 'the Mantra crap'

Amma: Control that tongue of yours or..


Vivek: Cool down amma...Hey Aji...mantras may not summon spirits or gods. It might soothen minds of those who believe in all this.. 'after life' or whatever.

Amma: Vineetha's was a DHURMARANA...death at the wrong time...unless the entire course of poojas get completed similar catastrophy will happen again. Remember

Aji, the family has already mourned twice within 6 months of her death.

Me: MYOCARDIAL INFARCTIONs or heart attacks took those two lives...and not Vineetha's spirits. Gosh...I'm sorry loosing my patience. Amma...did u just say 'COURSE' of poojas????

Aji: C'mon...pls stop fightin...this discussion reaches no where...FOE GODS SAKE...I'M RELEIVED NOW...

The war reached a stale mate.

The second hand completed a couple of rounds in the dial. It was hardly few minutes since dinner...


Vivek: Aji....i'm having this wierd feeling again..

Amma: Oh no..the stomach?

Vivek: feeling tired..lethargic...

Amma: Aji waz de pulse rate...? Might be low sugar levels...lemme get something sweet

I checked the vitals..

mE: pULSE rate is okay...Blood Pressure within limits. He hasn't drenched in sweat. No palpitation. Amma...this ain't hypoglycemia.(post prandial hypoglycemia)...we'll hit a try anyway.

His vitals where under control. That meant he needn't get rushed to a clinic. Perhaps few hours of sleep might help.

The night seemed spooky...hustling trees...hissing rain...flashes...thunder...

Do these people have a point? Sometime the astrologer’s prescription might work -‘deharakshas’ (holy accessories dat protect de body!!!) But that’ll be just based on belief...i’ll cakk it a ‘placebo’. way...unless they come with proof, it's crap...but my bro...Oh! God hit us with a diagnosis at least...I'll cling with the psychosomatic explanation.

Me:"Vineetha...i know u r hearing me...Dear...i know how much u both loved eachother...these devils here say u r haunting him. Funny na"

It's easy to cure the body...but when it comes to the's a bit off Vinny... instill strength into your husband's mind"

(de mind alone causes a multitude of somatic probs...

unless de underlying pathology is figured body reaches de wrong hands)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

mY Aunt's 'COMPLEX'ion

(statutory warning : offencive language ahead)

background: My cousin's big fat wedding

Morning. The d-day. (Muhoortham is at 12.00pm). Everyone's runnin 2 get things done...makin de final arrangements

Aunt: Hey...u...
Me: Hiii...(panting)
Aunt: u should be nithin...right?
Me: Yep
Aunt: Finished yer course?
Me: Nopes...fourth year...
Aunt: So child...howz life@college
(y de hell is dis lady askin all these @ this time. Well if my grey cells speak right this is our first CONFRONTATION)

Aunt: Feeling disappointed?
Me: woooot?? what 4?
Aunt: 4 havin chosen MBBS.
(waaaaaaaaat? i was almost electrocuted)

Aunt: do U know child? iT takes a life time 2 get established in de profession. MBBS...den u go upside down 4 de MD...try once...den repeat...den RE-repeat...den de MD...3 more years...den superspeciality...n finally by 55 or so u start gettin patients.

Me: oooo REALLY?

(Had I a chance, i wud've spat at her...honestly...niether did i know dis AUNT of mine b4...nor wer i interested in de chat)

Aunt: (Without any provocation) Well my son had secured de 16th rank in de AIEEE
(god not sure if heard de number right)
Aunt: He was wid PC 4 three years (pc thomas entrance coaching center, Kerala)...

Aunt: no no not a re-repeater as u may think
Me: ha (de lady didn't gimme a gap 2 guess)

Aunt: He was in de regular classes 4 two years den one repetition. Well he loathed medicine.
Me: sad
(wat de fuckin hell shud i do den? dis lady is gettin 'into' my nerves)

Aunt: what 'sad'?...he's now @ NIT Calicut u c...
Me: gud...hope he's got placed...
Aunt: yeah...of course...u know kid...if my son had tried he wud simply hav secured a seat in one of de Medical Colleges

Me: hmmm
(her 'kid' is right besides her...poor thing...i'll hold him innocent...)
(this is wat i really wanted 2 tell: Okay...den y de fuckin hell didnt u let him giv a try. Attitudes differ.Kid get yer mom off from here b4 i lose my patience)

(den v had some conversation wer v introduced ourselves 2 eachother 'in details'
4 niether of us knew eachother much.
Terms like aunt, uncle, cousin can be applied universally right?
every kin if not a brother or sister is yer 'cousin' be it de first cousin or second or third...Every older lady or guy is an Aunt or an Uncle)

Aunt: k...son...rush now...

Me: I think i had a nice time runnin in 2 u (grrrrrrrr) Aunt so wat do u do now?
Aunt: ENT

Me: wow
(yukkk u r a doctor...??? still speakin so rude about de profession??? *&%$#^&*** C'mon im feelin bad...really bad...)

Aunt's husband (silent all this time) : So dat authorises her 4 wat she just said na kid?? Just imagine gettin wedlocked after passin out wid an MBBS degree. U'll have 2 strech out yer hands 2 yer parents 2 fill yer purse.

Me: Yeah yeah.

I managed 2 escape de scene.

I was very much interested in de specimen i met n enquired about her. She enjoys de role of villainous aunt. She was a nurse 4 a couple of years wen finally she managed 2 join MBBS using some special 'quota'. Donno how she aquired a super specialty..She said kid is however bright from wat i've heard.

Now de confession part: De post is not intended 2 defame a family member(though de lady is a far 'too' distant relative). I felt totally bad. k..itz cent % REAL k...happened few days back. I kept 'mmmmm' de whole time n dis post contains all dat i wanted 2 yell@her.
Hope i won't get fired!!! or thrashed by my family.

Sorry 4 de offensive language.

ps.if u havn't chkd out yet here is my stage performance@college: tune in(de link)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Tune in: Kochu "LIVE"

daz de perfomance@ Adhvaya'09
Venue: C.O.K
Govt.Medical College Trivadrum

de post on 'Rekha's Pregnancy' is still on...Rekha’s pregnancy n de Global Recession…!!!

(im havin a loooon 'vaction'(kinda) stay alert!!!)