Showing posts with label mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mind. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

PATERNITY

“You’ll sleep now”

Silence deafened me. With the closure of my eyes darkness was obvious. But it was not the shade of the devil that forbade me from getting sleep. I feared the vision that has been repeatedly visiting me. They say dreams speak about the future. But I was seeing my past. I felt as if those dreams were answering my ever pondering grey cells. All my life, I’d been searching for answers that enthral me, answers to questions about my past.

My life wasn’t a miserable one. I was born filthy rich...posthumous child of a ‘great man’. A great diagnostician who loathed getting himself ‘treated’. ‘Treated’? Just like the rest of the world I didn’t know if he had a thing to be treated for. But the dreams that came in last week spoke things that pierced my eardrum. It was ‘grief’ that killed my father. One tiny blunder cost him the life of his patient. No one enquired about the ‘natural’ death of the 75-year-old cardiac patient. But the great man who was treating the guy knew ‘if the first tiny error in his professional career’ hadn’t happened, the guy would’ve had a few more years of sufferings on earth.

But that was the story they said last week. Worse revelations followed. I discovered that I was not the only soul within my body. Two men resided in me. Ten incarnations (avatars) were not required to get the lessons that these two individuals taught me in just one life span. After all everything serves a purpose. Life plays its role, just like time does. Angel and demon shared my body. I loved to see smiles everywhere, tried to shower happiness everywhere, failed. God never bestowed me with his powers. ‘Forget him’ I mocked. “I couldn’t build the empire of eternal sunshine...maybe I could demolish the fortress of demons” I thought. That never worked either. Yeah, a lowly mortal I am.

I began as a hero, following the footsteps dad left behind. A true hero I was...then. I enjoyed the warmth of the limelight that lit me. Then I tried to sustain it. The devil was born. Time moved on. I continued to be in disguise. I was still a hero to all. The devil however made sure not a lie that was uttered would end up as grievous blows. So in effect everyone was happy, just like me. ‘Immaculate lies’ are allowed, I figured out.

Dreams began to debate. They said I didn’t walk like my ‘father’, talk like him, act like him. Perhaps I wasn’t his kid.

I threatened to cut my vein. The ground flooded with her tears. What poured out from her was a story of betrayal. It was not the pleasure that a widow would long for, that brought me into this world. The sole friend who extended care to the depressed wife of his beloved friend after his demise had raped her. She didn’t avenge. The rascal’s life was taken away by a drunken driver instead. The entire chain of events remained safe within the walls of her brain. My mother wanted an heir. Wolves would greedily eat away the fortunes, she feared. One ‘immaculate lie’ worked.

Dreams couldn’t say if her heart still burned. I can’t ask them, if she had erred. No...I don’t want them yelling out more truths...I won’t sleep again...

“Wake up now”

B: “Hey...buddy, sweating??? What Happened?”

A: “MAN...U SERIOUS??? All about your dad...and other stuff”(Panting)

B: “ha ha...idiot...right from the time we did our internship I’d been telling you’ll never be good with psychiatry”

A: “Shit...so weren’t actually hypnotised...grrr”

B: “Buddy...anyway you unleashed a master story teller...he he...kudos for that”

A: uuuuuuuuuuuuuu....SMAAAAAAAAASHHHHHHHHH...idiot, you are pathetic with genetics too...

B: ooof :)

(pdf format available@paternity-scribd.com

download ebook from mediafire)

Friday, April 24, 2009

wen de Dead stay...

(FICTION wid Bits of reality!!!)

God pours life into death and death into life without a drop being spilled. ~Author Unknown


The look on his face gave me a shock. I can imagine how bewildered Amma would be. He didn't speak much. "Ma, i need some water"


The face was apparently puffy. Eyes gave a look of terror.

I shared my room that night. Hoped everything would come under control by dawn. Yeah...things got better.


Me:So Vivek, you were all around with a 100watt brightness during the party. This must have been the best anniversary that our grant parents enjoyed. What took you off?


Vivek: I don't know da. I can't explain. I felt my tummy would burst. I couldn't breath. I was nearly dead with fear. Everything came in fast...


Me: Fear?

Amma: Vivi, you remember the date right?


Me: Amma...i think hyperacidity fits more than this 'date' crap

Vivek: No Aji...she has a point.

It was exactly on the same day last summer when a car crash took away Vineetha...hardly a year since their wedding. It took months for Vivek to be come out of the depression. To make things worse. We had the elite panel of senior citizens who recommended "Mrityunjaya Homa" "Bhagavathy Seva" etc...I used to mock them, "Yeah so the smiles of god and the dead cost kilos of cash...??" Each pooja used to bust about 10,000Rs. Vivek however continued to have episodes like the recent one.


Me: Vivi, how many pegs did u have? Probably booze gave u a distended abdomen...raised the diaphragm, gave your chest less space for expansion.

Vivek: okay...okay...that fits. But i don't experience hyper acidity whenever i drink...moreover i didn't drink much yesterday.

Me: Actually Vivi...I don't remember saying that 'drinking produces acidity' is a rule.

Amma: Do u really want to be rude with him now Aji?

Hmm...she has a point. I was frustrated anyway. Vineetha was charming and lovely. She used to love him more than anything else. So why do these people give her the touch of a villain? If she is back...it would be for good and not to give her husband hypertension and tachycardia. Vivek was in the emergency observation room for 4 hours last saturday.

Me: Hey vivi...i think we'll add some anxiolitic just to allay this fear factor.

Vivek: Hit me a name medico...

Me: No way..i would have recommended Alprazolam but 4 years in medical school won't match the 25 years' experience of our Sreedhar uncle he he.

Dr.Sreedhar is one of the best physicians in town.

" Famonite thrice daily and Alprax before bed"...the first one was for acidity and the second for anxiety.


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Amma: So vivi...hope u r fine now..

Vivi: Yeah :)

Me: Told u people right? Science is Real.

Amma: Yeah but that doesn't mean students of science are atheists.

Me: C'mon i am not an atheist...i don't believe in 'the Mantra crap'

Amma: Control that tongue of yours or..

.

Vivek: Cool down amma...Hey Aji...mantras may not summon spirits or gods. It might soothen minds of those who believe in all this.. 'after life' or whatever.

Amma: Vineetha's was a DHURMARANA...death at the wrong time...unless the entire course of poojas get completed similar catastrophy will happen again. Remember

Aji, the family has already mourned twice within 6 months of her death.

Me: MYOCARDIAL INFARCTIONs or heart attacks took those two lives...and not Vineetha's spirits. Gosh...I'm sorry Aji...im loosing my patience. Amma...did u just say 'COURSE' of poojas????

Aji: C'mon...pls stop fightin...this discussion reaches no where...FOE GODS SAKE...I'M RELEIVED NOW...

The war reached a stale mate.

The second hand completed a couple of rounds in the dial. It was hardly few minutes since dinner...

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Vivek: Aji....i'm having this wierd feeling again..

Amma: Oh no..the stomach?

Vivek: Nopes...im feeling tired..lethargic...

Amma: Aji waz de pulse rate...? Might be low sugar levels...lemme get something sweet

I checked the vitals..

mE: pULSE rate is okay...Blood Pressure within limits. He hasn't drenched in sweat. No palpitation. Amma...this ain't hypoglycemia.(post prandial hypoglycemia)...we'll hit a try anyway.

His vitals where under control. That meant he needn't get rushed to a clinic. Perhaps few hours of sleep might help.

The night seemed spooky...hustling trees...hissing rain...flashes...thunder...

Do these people have a point? Sometime the astrologer’s prescription might work -‘deharakshas’ (holy accessories dat protect de body!!!) But that’ll be just based on belief...i’ll cakk it a ‘placebo’.

Hmm...no way...unless they come with proof, it's crap...but my bro...Oh! God hit us with a diagnosis at least...I'll cling with the psychosomatic explanation.

Me:"Vineetha...i know u r hearing me...Dear...i know how much u both loved eachother...these devils here say u r haunting him. Funny na"

It's easy to cure the body...but when it comes to the mind...it's a bit off borders..so Vinny... instill strength into your husband's mind"




(de mind alone causes a multitude of somatic probs...

unless de underlying pathology is figured out...de body reaches de wrong hands)

Friday, August 1, 2008

Here I stand waiting...



I am running out… of what…?
I miss something… but what?
I am sick… of what…?
I am mad…at what?
I want to flee…but where to…?
Who knows the answers?
Who else…?
Here I stand…waiting…
Who else can read me better?
Where are you now…?
I left you for a while…no…I just pretended leaving you…
And I swam…in an ocean along with the some ‘feel good’ factors…
You never complained…
Since you knew…
I carried you in my mind
And back I am…
And here I stand…waiting…
You where always there…
As a blanket when I shivered in winter…
As an elixir when I cried for a drop of water…
You were always there…
But…but… why am I using a past tense here?
You still dance…synchronised with my heart’s rhythm
You are still here…so close…within my reach
But why can’t I touch you then…
I want to walk with you…fight with you…
Laugh with you…
Hug you so hard that you'll set in me!!!
“Why don’t you do that?”
Yes I can hear you asking that…
Rotten mouths will fart…
I’ll be a Romeo…
They’ll dress you up as my Juliet…
What else do they know of love?
You should have been there with me…
When I laid curled up in my mother’s womb…
And here I stand…waiting…
Waiting for answers...
Come fast…



("What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies."-Aristotle)