biO haZard

From Phototrix

too little time 2 blog...
this snap is one of de hidden rusty 'corridors' of Dept. of O&G

ps. Onam holidays begin nxt week...so beware...i might 'voraciously blog again'...

The ShOw

I fell in love,

It was magic;

I enjoyed the show.

Then the curtain fell;

The show was over;

Lights went off.

Reality rushed in;

Pitch black all around.

I didn’t stretch my legs...

I feared I would fall...

(no footnotes...n 'final year' aint a coincidence. by de way The chronicles will b back soon!!!

Atleast the title 'show' appears in Gynaecology texts :) im in touch)

(COMPATIBILITY: NEHA 7 SP2)

de 'UNCOP' patient

(the final year chronicles-continued)

week 1: Case- 'Everybody lies'

The worst nightmare called 'final year' began finally. I'll call it 'the final season'. With the end of the internment (not to be confused with internship) at labour room I wished (though it was nothing but a fallacy) i wouldn't have to examine 'fundal grips' anymore...hmmm man proposes, god disposes...back I am...in the kingdom of distended abdomens...this time it's not just babies...there's more action...uterine prolapses, fibroids...etc.

'Obstetrics n Gynaecology', the one month long saga began with a bang...our group of 6 caressed by none other than the H.O.D, Dept Of O & G. Technically it's called the O1 unit.
Regular ward classes...'theatre demonstrations'...I donno if i've landed in wonderland...I still remember runnin behind one of the professors of Medicine to conduct classes few years back!!! The PG student i meet en route would chuckle "Yeah he'll come riding a unicorn"

Things changed...the current scenario is:

1)"Kids...c'mon where are you?...I'm ready"

2)"Ma'am sorry for disturbing...actually i've got an emergency consultation...could u please give the lecture to the final years...they've been waiting for too long"-one ma'am 2 another via 'HER' mobile phone.

3) An hour long surgery ends (technically Total Abdominal Hysterectomy with Bilateral Salpingo oophorectomy...) and we move towards the doors only to find the Ass.Professor running towards us...eagerly, to explain the dissected uterus she held (in the black n white era...postings in the Operation Theatre were training grounds for us 2 practice ventriloquism, rarely would someone explain what's going on under the lights)

In short...what I understood is FINAL YEAR MEDICOS r VIPs !!! The recognition we now 'enjoy' at times turn into serpents that crawl in to bite our bosoms!!! Say...for eg...the ones with Medicine postings do not have 'second saturdays' any more...they r still in clinics...

What the first week in O&G taught me is the golden rule..."Everybody Lies"

Never trust a patient

Last week i met the most uncooperative patient we've met till date. A rather lean lady was assigned to our team for 'case taking'. She was one cunning vixen who tactically skipped all our questions, and utilised every opportunity 2 play hide n seek (for eg. We asked her to empty her bladder so that we wouldn't diagnose her full bladder as a tumour!!! This lady never returned...n i had to search every nook in the ward to find her hiding place...n bring her back)

All she said was 'I am absolutely normal...no pain...no prolonged bleeds...nothing...'

"Did the docs say something?"
"No...nothing"

Minutes fled...
Munchausen??? errr...??? But she doesn't seem 2 'like treatments'...hmm what else?? grrr..

The lady ate all our time. Once the ma'am arrived for the lecture...all we could figure out was she had a mass in her abdomen.

Case was briefed...(incorporating the 'Pushing Syndrome')

The ma'am finally revealed that this lady was actually scheduled for a hysterectomy (surgery to throw away the uterus), and had received 3 pints of blood

The CASE HISTORY of a Medico...

Tic tic tic...

The clock is still on...not an attempt do I make to slow it down or stop the second hand. I love this change...for I’m still an immature learner and I don’t think I’ll get a better mentor than Time himself. I hardly remember a line of the Hippocratic oath...oops...because ‘feverish’ is the term I still find fit to describe the emotional state I was in on the first day of college. (Hmm I’ll master the lines...hmm...by graduation!!!)

Everything was bound to change. Those were the days when I feared the term ‘change’...I had no idea what it would be like...a life without the neck-tie, the morning assemblies...’college’ was a new addition to my lexicon.

Changes began...I never knew...though it was my own life. I didn’t have to manipulate anything around me. Neither could I apprehend if the universe was really conspiring, the way Paulo Coelho postulates.

Tic tic tic...

Not a thing enjoyed an eternal position, not even the strong formalin vapours that plunged my olfactory senses once I stepped into the world of cadavers (The Anatomy dissection hall...where the dead enlightened the living). The stench in the mortuary where I stood, recording the process of a post-mortem examination a few years later was harder to forget.

People walked in...Some rushed out...other still stay...but now I have better lenses, crystal clear...I measure distances with greater precision.

‘I had no idea of whatever happened...everything was automated’, thus went the first year.
‘I started to figure out things around me’, and so went the second and third years.

Seasons cycled...but not many notes in the song of my life did repeat. I kept exploring...at times conscious, at others carried by the wind.

I began to listen to new tunes...tasted new levels of acidities...not all the dishes were sweet...

(a snap by Azgar)

Tic tic tic...

Redefinition is now a routine. I now realise that many of the objects I gulped in, against my wishes...all that were rotten to my nose and eyes, actually smelt good. Forensic medicine...the microscopes...even the mammoth text of Preventive medicine, all come to my aid even when I forget to summon. The newspapers have columns I never noticed before...people around me have traits I never noticed before.

The fourth year was the golden era...I felt into deep crevices, climbed peaks...experimented with myself...discovered the inner dimensions that always hid within time. For the first time, I felt...like complaining, ‘why is Time in such a rush’...what is Time making a bee-line for? Why can’t Time let me rest in his plate of largesse?

Tic tic tic...

The final mayhem begins next week. The final year of my course...

Tic tic tic...

Did time really move that fast...? Oh! Lord I am about to be ‘the final year’ student...Oh! Lord...they say I’m no more supposed to err...!!!

The stethoscope...the medical kit...o...o....here I dress up...wait where’s my coat...ANYBODY SEEN MY COAT...O...HOIIIIIIIII........??? Hmm there are few things that never succumb to the rule of ‘change’...O O...Hey N werz the pen torch...?? HELLOOOO


(pics are from the collections of Azgar)