Friday, February 22, 2008

The Chicken or the Egg???


(And my dear friends...this time..its short...and thanks to my colleagues...since i've 'borrowed' experiences...)

The pretty gal walked into the podium. I am sure my eyes weren’t alone in the run to watch her getting ready. Within seconds her lips began moving…and began the ‘melodious’ symposium. It took a few seconds for me to realize that the talk had started…I missed the title…who cares…I knew it is something related to gynaecology

It has been more than a week since I got posted in gynec, and still I am not sure if I know something more than what I had learned in Obstetrics… (The one in which I was previously posted). I don’t know how fast time flew all these days. I still remember the bewildered look in madam’s face when none of us could identify a Sims’s speculum (an instrument to excavate interiors) even after a week in wards and theatres. (Honestly…I refer to the operation theatres and not the abode of lecture ‘cutters’). It is not exactly the lack of interest…but…hmmm…I don’t know. Some low immortals reason that gynaec is for gals…how absurd? I call that attitude absurd not since such a thought is out of question…but because I know the equally pathetic condition of my female colleagues. Well here is the actual underlying problem (which I reason)…lack of ‘maturity’…being in the third year of MBBS means ample time to relax (misconceptions rule the intermittent time period in the magnificent course). I still live in the world of fantasies. There was indeed a golden age...when I strived…real hard to get into a professional course…then I had dreams…but I worked for them…okay my brains is not dead yet… still I do have dreams…but now…I just dream…so that they remain in dreams!

Hey…is someone calling me…? I was half awake…

Ya the symposium is over…

“Get up child!!!”

A strong sound drags me out of the chairs, “Good morning…hope you had a comfortable sleep…okay…Tell me about the kinds of ultrasound scans done…”

Is it the clarity of my pals sitting right behind me (whispering the answer to me!!!)? Or did the beauty of the presenter succeed holding my attention at least for some time?

“mmmm….ma’am…mmm….trans-vaginal….trans-abdominal…”

Madam had turned red…perhaps she didn’t expect me to spit out…

I sat down…sighing…

Hooo….escaped….

TRING TRING

Oh!…I had forgotten to switch off my mobile!!! It was yelling.

CAUGHT!!!

Perhaps Tenzing and Hillary wouldn’t have turned so happy after reaching the pinnacles of adventure… that smile madam had when she ‘ushered’ me out…I’ll never forget!!!

I was once again an ‘outstanding’ student…

“Hey …do you have balance…I wanna make a call from yer mobile”

And this is the nice part… I am never alone...no remorse…I’ll be on track sooner or later…’tomorrow never dies…!!! ’

Then the madam comes out…, “Hey fellows…when I was in your age…I preferred gaming in my mobile rather than dozing off…

Sunday, February 17, 2008

A Cat in the Fish Bowl !!!

(Please suggest me a better title if you have one...)


I was almost exhausted as I seated myself comfortably in an almost empty Passenger Train to Kollam. The day long work had had enough of me. My phone was ringing…it was my daughter…, “Papa, I’ve made it…I’ve got selected…!” she was almost shouting out of excitement. My joy knew no bounds on hearing that. My daughter had got selected in the campus interview…I found my energy surging back. I was jumping out of excitement. I forgot my age, designation, all…

“Uncle…something wrong?”

I hadn’t noticed the young man who was my sole companion in the compartment.

“Yupp…not really…got hysterical…”

“I’ll make a guess, shall I?”

“Hmmm….sure….”

“Your child has done something special…something academic? Say…a selection in an interview..or so”

“You’ve got it right son“ , I explained to him about my daughter’s achievement…it was when I completed that I understood my ‘folly’…I had no idea who he was or what he was!!! Who cared…if something can go wrong it will!!! I am a firm believer of Murphy’s laws. Fortunately the ‘lad’ looked safe. He was neatly dressed. Not too fair. On looks…average…or a bit above that.

I asked him what he was doing.

“Uncle I am in the third year of my MBBS…”

“Wow that’s great…actually, son..I was one of the many parents who wished to see their child in white coat and stethoscope…any way my child didn’t disappoint me with her decision to take up engineering. She flourished…did a fabulous job in her studies…really made me a proud dad…

Oooo…I am sorry son. I just forgot myself…hope I didn’t bore you…”

“Uncle you are a bit too open minded right? ...and do you think this is within safe limits…? How safe do you think I am?”

“Hi hi…that’s a joke son. Dear, I have survived at least 25 years more than you…Experience has given me the power to tell apart who the wrong guy is and who the nice one is…”, I still don’t know if I was a bit overloaded with pride.

“Hmmm…that’s a challenge to the youth right? Hi hi….So what else uncle. Seems I’ve found a friend in you…hi hi…don’t mind about the 25 year gap…by the way I am 20…”


“Cool…Son. So how are your studies going? I know, MBBS, ain’t an easy course...”

To be frank…I am almost fine in my college…but…perhaps it is because I am in a government college…I often take things for granted. I feel bad…of course… at times…But anyway…I have resolved to be a good Doctor… when I pass out”

“You sound great…and confident...make sure do that well”

I loved his attitude…the manner of his talk…really frank…If my looks didn’t fail…he was nearly studious…Unfortunately I am not good in face-reading. Perhaps I need another 25 years to learn that. We chatted for really a long time. About his college, hostel… after minutes… about his family…and everything. Anyway I didn’t spit myself out fully to him…21st century is not that reliable to speak things out.

“You are gonna take pretty long time to pass out right? Hi hi…by that time my girl will have a safe bank balance!!!”

“Ho…leave that…I don’t really care…no…uncle….at times I get bothered…almost all my ol’ pals have got placed somewhere or the other…Infosys, Wipro, Satyam, IBM and the list goes on. My inbox is almost flooded with messages notifying me of the salaries that are gonna fill their pockets.”

“Don’t worry. I was kidding.”

“I think in another way uncle. Do you know about another practical problem that a lad like me faces?”

“Hmmm? No…”

“Famly……..”

“What????”

“Yes uncle… I am restricted when it comes to being a lover.”

“Hey I didn’t get that?

“Uncle I won’t even be able to love someone in my age…”

“Is medical college suffering from such shortage…”

“No uncle…I prefer someone having nothing to do with medicine. Why take chances? Complexes don’t let me try my luck with MBBS gals”

“????”

“Uncle here is an example…suppose I fell for an engineering student…say…yupp…your daughter…by the time I pass out...she’ll be a house wife…married to some lucky creep!”

“By the time you pass out…there will still be other gals in engineering college…right?

“Hey that ain’t a fair joke? Hi Hi”

“Gals…gals…child... you were sent to learn or love?”

“Uncle …planning for the future ain’t such a bad thing right? After all, these things never meddle with my studies”

“Then carry on.”…my interests in that kid grew up. I didn’t show it out anyway. In the chats that followed we got closer. I forgot my age. I walked years behind into my college days. I wished the train slowed down...so we could have more time.

That thought seemed to bite my bosoms…the train came to a halt…for some crossing over or so.

Grrrr.

“Patience…uncle…hi hi….atleast we can chat more right? So you have become a successful father right?”

“Ya…I am feeling great. Half my job is done. Now gotta get my girl into safe hands.”

“She should be really young right? Do you really wanna trap her now?

“Aha…that is my child right? Hmmmmmm…Son I am nearing retirement…”

“Don’t worry uncle…Gimme time to pass out and I’ll marry yer girl!!!”

“Whattttttttttttttt?”

“Ooops…was just kidding”

“Hey…I loved that joke”

By this time, the lad had really won my interests and attention. His speech was pretty charming. Except for some haughtiness (I won’t blame him for that…for as a lad of his age I was the same).

“Do you mind giving you your cell number?”

“I was starting to ask that”

I soon received his missed call and saved his number.

Minutes later we reached the home station.

“Had a really good time with you son. Best wishes for your studies…and of course…your love affair. Try hard and get yourself secured…before you ask for someone’s hands or hearts or so?”

“ Thanks uncle and say my hi to your family….Mrs. Ranganathan and…errr….Deepti Ranganathan….”

“What…how on earth do you know my daughter’s name”

“Yupp…oh lord I am too good in guessing things correct. Great.”

“Cool...and amazing…you guessed right…my daughter’s name is Deepti..hi hi…”

As I walked away I started to smell something. Were all these mere coincidence? Was he really guessing things? Had I made a fool of myself? But I enjoyed it anyway. I rushed home. Hugged my dear daughter. Congratulated her.

As she went to the kitchen to get me a glass of water…I hurriedly typed in the guy's number into her mobile…ya it was there….under the title “Radhu “.

I told the whole tale to my wife.

She said, grinning like the Cheshire cat, “HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF”

I burst out laughing…

Thursday, February 7, 2008

From Heaven with love…




(Don't even dare to read this half asleep...! THE STUFF is a bit too long!!!)


You are making me tired.

Son, I have a trillion cases to look into every moment. You know that well right?

Ya,I do. If you can’t do all this alone…try a retirement !!!…grrr…sorry im outta patience…

Tell me what your problem is.

I wanna know if this is the treatment I deserve.

Oh! Dear. You have been out there for twenty years and all that I’ve heard from you is complaints.

I have my fundamental rights!!! Right?

Its high time for amending that thing called constitution...Well…well exercise them…continue…

Im fed up Oh Lord! you know how well I love all those pig heads out there. I spend atleast three quarters of my time thinking of others. Still I suffer humiliation, neglect. I am fed up.

Hi hi... ‘fed’ up? Son that’s exactly why you are here now…

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

k… k…continue…

You’ve heard my speeches.

Ya I have.

You love my styles right?

OH! I can't stand this 'self praising' anymore..okay…Whats your point?

Half the audience had turned into wolves when I took the microphone in my hands.

Lucky, I wasn't there...

??????

Else I would've turned into one!!!


Grrrr…tell me now…you belong to me or them?

I belong to all…

Oh! Cut the crap. No philosophies here.

K...K…well…any thing else?


Do you know the total time I’ve spend loving her? Caring for her?

She never demanded that, did she?

Grrrrrrrrr...You are not supporting me....


Ha ha…speak son…

I’ve spend half my pocket money recharging my phone…I send hundreds of messages every week to all corners. Asking “ how r ye”… “how did the exams go”...and all blah blah…a few misers respond with missed calls..some don’t even respond.

Everyone has his or her life to look right? If you fail to do that ,why blame others?

Oh! Are you here to console me or criticize me?

Son. I know you well. That’s why I send so many people out there for you. You are aware…


Ya lord..i know…but I times…I feel dumped…

Leave it dear.

No, I can’t. How can I leave it? I always wanted someone who belonged to me…just me…you never give me that.

I wanted a friend…

I had sent one….

Ya but…………

What ‘ BUT’ ? You repeat 60 times a minute… ‘She’s your this’... ‘she’s your that’… ‘Lucky having you’… and so on…and still you suspect her…

That is ‘human’ right?

That is not ‘human’…! You go on complaining… ‘do you know how much I care for you’… ‘do you know what sum I spend for you’… ‘What energy I ‘waste’ for you…but still you never care for me’ and all that…

But lord I rarely mean anything when I say she doesn’t care for me…’coz I know she does care…!

That’s cruelty right…?

Perhaps yes…hey hey …..so now I am the culprit?

HI HI BINGO!!!

Nothing doing…and where is my love?

I send one right? Not one...many..

Ya a dozen..grrrr….u make me paralyzed…you send gals I can love…and lets me wish to own them…just ‘wish’..and right in front of my eyes they grow and disappear…and at last I remain a loser…

Loser? Who? You are not a loser…just a slow learner… always late when you realize things… say… 'learning' … when did you start that? When you found that if you remain slow...you will lose someone you craved for…again that was for ‘someone’...and not to fulfill the dreams of those loving parents…

Yupp!!! This ain’t fair…I came here to fire you for the ‘injustice’ I am suffering and now the ball is in your court…

Hi hi.. .you always want people praising you right?

Ya. Even when my dearest ones call me pompous…I love that…even when I am mocked at and jeered at…I love that…simply because of the fact that everyone knows that I am breathing…I want attention…always…someone should be with me every time…!!!

Don’t worry dude…there are lots who love you…care for you...be satisfied…you can’t expect all to do the same…can you?

Okay okay…cut all that…what are you going to do ‘now’?

What “now”..what has happened has happened…

That’s not it…this ain’t fair lord…

Whats not fair..? I didn’t ask you to adore the beauty of a college going gal while crossing the road did I?

You created beauty for us to enjoy right?

Right. But not while you are just seconds away from getting run over by a racing KSRTC bus…!!!

But that gal could have dressed properly so that I couldn’t have lost my concentration completely…moreover she was too beautiful…and you created her pretty…didn’t you

Now blame that gal for her beauty… and yes... its my fault for having made her pretty... hmmm…. Son…you just won’t change…k... I’ll give ye a choice...HELL or HEAVEN?

Mixture of both…!

Earth…?

You got that buddy...yupp...lord…

Hmmm…so you want another chance…?

But promise me…this is not my last chance…

What? So you’ll repeat similar things again?

Oh! Lord... ‘to err is human’… right?

Right right...kid…get off from here now…here is your return ticket…hooo…I am confused now…Assistant get me some tablet to drive this ‘ headache’ off


(AND I WAKE UP TO FIND MYSELF COVERED WITH PLASTERS AND BANDAGES…ON ONE SIDE OF MY BED IS MY BELOVED FRIEND AND ON THE OTHER SIDE IS MY LOVE…AND ALL AROUND I FIND MY CLASS MATES…AND FEW DOCTORS…THEN I HEAR SOMEONE ON PHONE SCREAMING, “AUNTIE DON’T WEEP…HE IS BREATHING AGAIN…”

OH BEAUTIFUL WORLD…BACK I AM...AGAIN...)