Friday, May 9, 2008

Girls, Friends, and GIRLFRIENDS



This piece of literature will be updated the moment it is proved that Eve wasn’t the only ‘gal’ in town when Earth was moulded up.

If Adam and Eve where the only ones, then I’ll brand that situation responsible for all miseries that guys and gals face when they are just ‘friends’. Since parents can very well argue, ‘unlike hormones always attract’.

There is an age old saying (that scores of movies have researched and proved), ‘A guy and gal can’t stay as best friends forever’. Can’t blame the pig head who jotted that quote. Terminologies are grossly misused by a large number of ‘couples’. “Oh! Its Rita….mom don’t worry, she is just a friend of mine”, says Rakesh when questioned by his mother when caught red handed with his mobile phone at 2 past mid night. Weeks later they are caught from ‘Coffee Beans’ having cold coffee, one glass, two straws!!!


INFATUATION is really a terrible phenomenon, often responsible for Sudden Explosions in relationships. I challenge if there is a single guy in the vicinity who haven’t experienced such an infatuation to a gal who is genuinely his friend. For example, when she is seen gorgeous at a party, you’ll think for a moment,” Oh! Why don’t I fall in for her?” Fortunately this feeling is often transient. The next moment you’ll think, “Oh! Shit what am I thinking?” You either hide it in your brain’s recycle bin or spit it out to her some day,

I’ll call all these things NATURAL. Why? What is the big Sin in falling in love with your friend? As far as southern Kerala (my abode) is concerned, if she is of your same ‘caste’, ‘similar or better financial and family back ground’ parents usually say ‘Yes. Go on kid’. But gross or even minute mis-matches, (eg. The ‘star’ problems…yupp…astrology) end in catastrophe.


One solution, that I think is apt, is to clearly discriminate between ‘friend’ and ‘girlfriend’. ‘Girlfriend’ as far as I know is an often mis interpreted term. It is best to call your gal friend just ‘friend’ if she is truly just a friend.

TRANSPARENCY is the best safety measure. Transparency everywhere...commmunication, relation, or where ever applicable.

Recently I ‘sold’ my old mobile to one of my best friend (unfortunately a girl!!!). Within months rumours reached my aunt, “Hey your nephew is having an affair with one gal. He has already ‘gifted’ her Mobile Phone, i-pod etc.”( I still don’t have an i-pod for myself)

Since my amma knew what exactly had happened, and what exactly ran between us, I didn’t suffer any casualty. My senses have risen up since then.

Since then, even Birthday cards are selected with caution. What if, some day I gift a pal (guy) with a card containing a symbol of heart in it and I get branded gay…?

Planning to give a nice treat to your pal…? Beware!!! You are being watched.


Sunday, March 23, 2008

Mr. X wants to add you as a friend…click here…


(It has been really a long time since I 'blogged'...before you read this let me warn you. Don't blame me for the flight of ideas you'll notice in the following text...don't brand me bi-polar ...exams getting into my head...that's all!!! And no offenses meant to severe 'Orkutters' since I am one )

My preparations for the food fest that is to begin on the tenth of April (now hoping for a postponement) took me to the legendary students’ ward…Acute Diarrhoea. I had been there before, couple of times. I knew, my lovely tummy wouldn’t bear the entirely new diet I had been trying recently. Here is a sample of what I had yesterday:

Breakfast: ‘Antimicrobial drugs’ (Not more than 10 pages did I swallow)

Lunch: ‘Adrenergic system and drugs’ (Tried honestly, but stuff was too hard I couldn’t chew well. Amma always used to teach me right from kindergarten that “digestion begins from mouth monu”)

Evening snacks: ‘Herpes viruses’

Supper: I don’t exactly remember what I had…Picorna viruses or remnants of my lunch? I had run out of mind by this time. I remember being in the toilet.

Anyway I am thinking of filing cases against the Well known chefs KD Tripathi (creator of famous recipe: Essentials of Medical Pharmacology) and R Ananthanarayanan (Known for the recipe Textbook of Microbiology).

What use? hew, now I’ll just be able to ‘attempt’ the Eating competition.

I was on Saline infusion when I noticed my ‘room mate’ in the nearby bed. A lean guy. He was literally covered with Plaster of Paris… limbs supported by splints… I am sure the nurse had to drill the cannula into his hand for an infusion.

“Mate, what’s yer name?”

Somehow he managed to reply, in a weak voice. “FRIEND”

“Oh! You are the guy…hmmm… I’ve heard a lot about ye

How did you manage to win such heavy doses of fractures…?”

“Well buddy, a couple of years to be precise. I was almost enjoying a heavenly life on earth when few &*%#^&$ enrolled me in a new environment…they called it Social networking environment. I was, however, given a choice, ORKUT or FACEBOOK? I chose the first… sent my cousins to the other one.”

As he spoke these...he seemed to be sinking into a worse state. It was now that I noticed his ECG waves...they were the shape of heart.

Shock waves ran through my nerves…Now I knew what the problem was. I avoided further chats with him. Else he would start suspecting me. Actually I was also (probably) involved in the case.

It had just been hours since I added Joseph, cousin of Raichel, who is Johnsons’ neighbour as my ‘friend’. I had no idea who Joseph actually was, what he was or what character he possessed. Whatever, my friends list had crossed the 400 mark… At least 100 are like Joseph…never seen…just ‘scraps’ or online chats. Indeed the term ‘FRIEND’ has suffered enough casualties. A least be 3 new 'FRIENDS' are added every week.

DOCTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I could hear nurses running about yelling. White coated gods where rushing in calling out “CPR...CPR…”

I asked ‘Friend’ if he knew what was going on.

“Oh! That’s my distant cousin… name is ‘FAN’ he might be requiring resuscitation.”

My tongue was paralyzed. My FAN counter in Orkut had touched 100!!! No more questions. I pretended falling asleep.

I started to think. Was there really any meaning in all these stuffs. Perhaps its high time to redefine terms. The first thing i tried was to log into Orkut from mobile...find all the obsolete entries in contacts list and erase them off. I use 'obsolete' with caution, just to refer to persons I have no idea about. But things had already out of control...the list was too large for scrutiny. I deleted 5 entries just because I had started off.

I turned to watch the poor chap, he was smiling at me. He looked stronger.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

out 4 work


I am a bit busy these days...with our batch tour, exams, postings etc....will be back soon... Thanks