Philip Kaun Hai (Who is Philip?)

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“Philip, tell me the pediatric dose of Ampicillin”

“Philip, what is the Plan C management of Acute Diarrheal Disease”

“Philip, Philip, Philip”

I begin to yawn

“Philip, Philip, Philip”

Thank god, it’s a classroom, and it’s the final year. There is no reason to panic. Self Control is an automated adaptation for survival. The green eyed monster is having a hard time trying the strenuous act of concentrating. It’s tough when the tutor is a pleasing appeal to the senses. When the smile is charming, the voice is filled with mesmerizing notes, and all these graceful facets are superimposed on excellent teaching skills, the end product is a serious mess in the minds of the innocuous listener.

Let’s call her Hema Ma’am. The first few dialogues used to be repeated whenever she took classes for us. It’s not that “Nithin Jayan”, or “Nithin Humayoon” or “Pooja” never reverberated in the air, but “Philip” itched my nerves. The guy is gifted with real ‘looks’, stupid chicks think he smiles like Tom Cruise…then he’s also a genius who spares very few hours to score well!!! So that means bitterness is justified.

That was about the first pediatrics postings that occurred months back. Time crawled by. Months later we are back. Same department, same unit, same set of professors, nothing has changed except for the minuscule changes that sprouted up as tiny grey hairs in *her head. (*Hema ma’am who else?) Philip is high and mighty these days. He would knock every one down so as to be the first one to step into Hema Ma’am’s O.P.room.

I yawned again. None of us needed an introduction.

But twists do happen.

Pointing at Philip, Hema Ma’am asked, “And You ARE?”

Silence…eyeballs pop out…everyone’s stunned…

TADA…music plays…drums

Tsunami?

“Philip”, he replies.

I am surprised.

“So you are Philip?” Madam’s question should have drilled through his heart.

“But, hmmm, is there another Philip in your class?” Madam probed again.

“No ma’am he’s the only one”, my voice was filled with evil satisfaction and a pinch of salt.

“I thought there was another Philip”

That’s it, that’s it

CHEERS.

Similar episodes recurred in the following days. Other tutors began to ask for “Philip”, but not our Philip.

Thus Mr. Tom Cruise is finally our new goal post.

“Malappuram Kathi, Nadan Bomb, avasanam Pavanayi shavamayi” the famous Malayalam ‘quote’ reverberate in the same air that once cradled “Philip, Philip, Philip”

Question still stays. Who’s this new Philip? Mystery continues