Friday, August 29, 2008

Something could go wrong…gosh…it really DID!!!!!


(beware unedited content!!!)

Hey hey…it’s 10.45…oh shit…c’mon I’m tired of waiting …these adrenaline levels are getting so heavy that I can’t bear them any longer. Gal…where are you…? You said 10.30 right? Oh! These gals never keep time…grrr…


How long am I supposed to wait here…oh! This ain’t a safe area either…can’t even rule out being ‘lathied’ off by a petty policeman…no…can’t blame anyone…I have been waiting here…a few metres away from the bus stop for more than 15 minutes…with my car parked few meters farther…what explanation do I have for them?


“Sirrrrrr…noo….I am waiting for my sweetheart…it’s our first meeting…have never met her before….sirrrr”.

Who is going to swallow that?

“But sirrrrrr…trust me…these things are not entirely restricted to 70mm screens…can happen in life too!!!”

Gosh…C’mon are you going to pick this call? Oh! Please reply to my messages at least.

I’ve started to sweat …!!!! Hmm…wasted an hour in front of the mirror…drop by drop…here ‘dribbles’ off mamma’s Yardley powder… all the ‘Dove’ fairness cream has ‘flown’ off too….What more! I’ve started to stink ….et tu BRUT...had sprayed at least quarter of the bottle of Brut to smell ‘hot’…!!!

Hmmm…hey…hey why all this fuzz? Why should I be so nervous?

No no…such situations really can drive men mad…

So where’s the damn old bus? Honey, at least give me the name of your bus…where’s your cell…???


Oh! Wait…someone’s calling…ooooo…you wretched bladder….don’t start crying now…hold on buddy…just few more minutes…you know how long I’ve been waiting for this day…’Krishnaaaa...give me some control …gotta hold on for few more minutes…’

Holy shit…what a nasty thing to prey for…hmmm…so is there a public latrine somewhere near? Yeah…there it is…

Grrr…that old lady…she’s smiling??? WHAT is the big joke…any ‘handsome’ guy can have an urge to pee…that’s not worth giggles…gosh…

Oh! This room stinks…so this is just another public latrine in ‘god’s own country’…

Had wasted more than ten minutes trying to ‘tuck in’…it’s after a dozen try outs that I managed to succeed…everything is in vain…I don’t think I’ll make another perfect ‘tuck in’ that’ll hide my tummy…oops…no my ‘single mega pack abs’…Okay…This is fate…no…it’s the damn old Murphy’s law working out…

“I never had a slice of bread,
Particularly large and wide,
That did not fall upon the floor,
And always on the buttered side
.”

Someone has jotted that on the wall too…

Shit….the zip is jammed…c’mon not now…

Another two minutes. Finally the zip eased.

Hoo…never before has emptying my bladder been so relieving…

Oh!!!! No…not again…not another thing can go so wrong…yeah…”no use whatever the care you give…the last few drops will soak your V.I.P underwear…” hmmm…I didn’t want the law to be proved true at this nick of time.

But this time there is more…my Ivory coloured ‘Parks’ trouser is looking bad…

My brain…oh…never felt so screwed up…man where is my intelligence…? Where’s the tap…???

I sprinkled water…

Donno how this terrible idea lit up…

Now my heart throb has every right to suspect me being another case of Urinary incontinence…

No way… she is not gonna see me this way…no...no…honey I think the time is not ripe yet…yeah I know…how can I ask you to “wait till my trousers get dry???”

Krishnaaaaaa…so this is what I get for all those ‘shayana pradakshinas?’ and the coins I dropped in your coin box? Cheeeeeeeeee…no other lover will have had such a fate…ngeeeee…

Mera number aayega…

(2 my batch mates: This is why I actually tucked out my brand new ‘Basics’ shirt during the afternoon session of our SPM Workshop…the heavy buffet lunch had nothing to do !!! )

(n...no...no...dis ain't me)

20 comments:

Smriti Srivastava said...

LoL...... :D :D :D

Dil ka doc is back with bags of humor.. I just couldnt stop smiling/laughing reading this post...

Ever considered writing for advertising houses?? :P Covered quite a few brands there...and...err... I dunno anyone else who can write so pee-ly...i mean freely... :P

You rock man..and thanks for all the laughs...please leave our Krishna for once :P

joiedevivre said...

haha
dat was very fuuny..m still laughing

aur yeh kya slaps ki dhamki deta rehta hai tu..huh..

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

I came back thrice to read it part by part :)

This is hilarious!I love your whacky sense of humor Doc :P

Happy weekend!

Diva said...

Murphy Law seems to be proved true in always the most funny and ironically 'pee'-ful of situations for you... wat with the mobile gettin washed away with it and now this!!!! :P :P
This can qualify to be a perfect supporting explanation for Murphy's law to be held good!!! ;) ;)
Lets contact Wikipedia and earn some quick bucks together(cos it my idea..lol) for sharing this amazing info with the world, wat say???? :D ;)

Aqua gurl said...

so funny....it was all over the place:P:P

Cinderella. said...

Lmao !!

What is it with guys getting so friggin nervous when meetng with a girl !!


LOl !! Hillarious !

So temme is this a true story of NIthin Jayan's life ?

Hemanth Potluri said...

hahahahaha rofl....u had be hang over here for lot of time dude...i am still laughing out...good one tho...

urs..hemu..

ANWESA said...

while reading,i laughed sumtyms,sumtyms said yuck....u hav a gr8 sense of humour man.

Priya Joyce said...

my god nithin u pepped up ma mood superb ha ha
very funny and yucky ha ha lol
every bit is to laugh at ha ha
I can't stop laughing ha ha

Nithin Jayan said...

wooooooo....yippieeeee....so mission successful...!!! bak 2 luv n smiles after a break!!!!!!!!!
;-)

Diana said...

Laughing n still laughing..why did u sweat so much...afterall...u were just waiting for a gal...not appearing ur term end exams.....lol

BTW...ur tagged...check out my post

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

Wooo no not again...tagged hi hi...diana! De master of procrastination will answer soon! Thanks mate...yupp n de sweating stuff....! Meetin yer first luv na...bigger than exams hi hi

--xh-- said...

ur post is dripping with humor... :-) been in ur shoes a couple of times, and man.. u made it looks hilarious to the core... :)

Prashant Sree said...

Well written post Friend !! One thig which comes to my mind about womans.

"As far the womens are concerned the unexpected always happens"

Read it in a story back @ school.,.
And some of it proves itself to be true...(atleast sometimes)

Keep Rianting !!

Prashant
*+

Divya said...

lol lol!! its good to know how far guys can go to try and make that 'first date' perfect ;) but seriously what's in it to be sooo nervous? and really??? yardley powder, dove fairness cream AND brut.. all the same time???!! whoa!


so.. this really did happen eh? :P ;)

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

:-) xh! B bak 2 smile again!
Prashant! Ma official 'hi' welcome 2 de party...
N divya...yupp that's kinda fiction as i call it always...of course reality n imagination spiced up...

Saranya said...

lolz. funny! had a good laugh :D
u've written it reli well.

VaisakhRulez said...

murphy's law @ work

amooma said...

LOL!! u poor thing. really funny. u know what...i like ur these kind of posts best.

firebird said...

hmm.... good read... :)

saying abt peeing..i remember the quote in our common room toilet...have u seen it nithin??? cant type here!!! :P