Sunday, December 6, 2009



None of the events that make this story would’ve occurred if a loathed rascal lazily rested home instead of his regular night ‘patrol’ in the street. I am not exactly sure if he had a heart, but he stopped on hearing me weeping. I was then a pink mass, fresh with a bleeding umbilical cord. I don’t know if my mother had seen my face before she breathed the last puff of blood-tinged air. Well I was a dark corner of the street and a thief found me. If I hadn’t distracted him, a Clerk who lived in the next street would’ve filled the newspapers the next day. My ‘DAD’ had planned to rob a Clerk that night. But on his way, he found me.

Unaware (and least bothered) of the purity of blood that gushed through my vessels, I grew up. Perhaps saving my life was the only good thing that my ‘DAD’ ever did. His deeds were rewarded well.

The day that marked my 18th birthday began with a commotion at one corner of the street. It occurred around a blood drenched lifeless body. I ran. No one was chasing me but I was running...unaware of what I was running from.


His soul might wander for years recklessly, for the kind of death he had was not the one he wished for. He’ll be one of the very few mortals who lived all forty-five years exactly the way they wished. He was invincible. He was never deprived of anything...he would get whatever he wanted, by any means. Never did he bother about the pain he caused when he snatched his wishes from people - wealth or dignity.

He brought me up the way he wished. He used to say, “You won’t live on Earth for more than a life time, the life you now live is a one-time affair; there is no rebirth”. He repeatedly recited that he lived on principles. I would listen to him innocently biting the fresh loaves he brought, ignorant of what his mumbles meant. I was always a mature listener in his eyes. As a five-year old, I understood nothing...but with years, I began to grasp what he said.

The man was ignorant. “Slam the doors at beggars and Education. Neither is of any utility”, he said. Man is a beast in chains. Once the shackles are broken, he is more dangerous and wicked than a hungry hyena. “They say that education opens the gate to growth. An ignorant man errs barbarically while an educated one executes the same errors in a more civilised yet crooked fashion”, I don’t know how this man, my ‘DAD’, could speak so convincingly...but this one made sense. .There are just three entities that define the purpose of life-food, wealth, and sex.

He never forced me to take his path. Instead, he jeered at and cursed my creators. We were never bound to each other by any strong forces. He gave me what one needed to live. I stayed with him. If I were a burden he would have disposed me, but that never happened. Perhaps all that he wanted was something with life in it to listen to him.

The monotony of life began to disturb my sleep. Once I said this to him, he said, “Monotony, boredom...yeah that’s because you never get a chance to wait for something, I bring them to you before you start craving”, he then glanced at his watch, “wait! you said monotony right? Now I get it, you are growing up man; see past 17...I used to have similar problems at this age. But, hey, you know what I was physically stronger than you are now. And the pretty lady who appeared in my path one night was too weak to run away from my grasp”

“ have been a rapist too?” never before had I questioned him.

“Just once...once...I didn’t know about brothels then...neither did I have the money; No remorse; she was 15 and not a virgin” he calmly replied.

‘But you never knew that when you chased her’ I didn’t have the courage to shout that at him. Strange! The man always has a reason for everything.


Spring never lasts, neither does a storm. For the first time in my life I saw fear in his eyes. I couldn’t think of a reason. But something was definitely wrong. As he was about to leave I asked the one question that always puzzled me, “Why did you stop for me that night?”

He slowed his steps. “I was not in a hurry that night, and had minutes to spare when I heard your cry. It was bloody all around. I stared at the pale lifeless body near you. I stared at her face; was struck by a thunderbolt...the face was familiar...I had seen that same paleness in her face before,  when she struggled to escape from me. Don’t women age?”

I felt paralyzed, couldn’t speak a word. It was already dark.

“Ciao...kid”, did he smile when he said that?

I stayed on bed for another hour, and then rose. I knew what to do or was it an impulse? I don’t know. I began to walk; I knew the path he might’ve taken that night...I rushed.


I can’t run anymore. Where have I reached? All I know is this; no one will ever question me for what I’ve done.

But for the time being, let me hide in the dark...alone, with not even my shadow to disturb.