Sunday, September 14, 2008

‘I’ AM HERE… Or MAIN CHETAN BHAGAT BANNA CHAHTA HOON



“Hey, I’ve updated my blog…check it out”

A while later, I am hit with a reply-

“Hoo…it’s ‘too long’ pal. I have better things to do”

This was one moment that made me feel proud of myself…I successfully held back from replying

Yeah…go…do the ‘better things’…don’t forget to get a condom…”

Sirji…what a ‘self-control’!!!

Yuckkkkkk.

So is this what a ‘blogger’ gets? Hmmm…I’ll stay here…anyway.

Well this occurred few months back…January to be exact…when I stepped into the blogosphere.


Weeks back…


I scrolled through the preface of ‘Five point someone’…even before reaching the prologue, I said to myself, “Hmmm…one day…I’ll create ripples…write something…and I’ll be another Chetan Bhagat”. I bunked the day’s posting (well…folks…bunking ‘surgery casualty’ was not new…just that…now I had a reason…!)

Once I completed the book…I said to myself…

Hey there’ll be a day when people say…’Chethan? Did you mean Nithin?’

He he…fortunately, dreams are never taxed…!!!


For few days…I was mad…desperately trying to get hold of the next book that he penned ‘One night at the call centre’…I didn’t get it… finally I bought ‘The three mistakes of my life’…I stressed ‘bought’ since reading a book is something that I did on every blue moon night and ‘spending’ money to buy a book was a thing that occurred on days when all ‘navagrihas stood in a line’

I finished the book at a record breaking speed that made me realise that if I read Harrison’s Internal Medicine so fast I would master the subject in months and become the new big thing in class…!!!

“Main Chetan Bhagat banna chahta hoon”

Few days later, I heard that the writer landed in Kerala. I read the interviews that filled newspapers.

The release of ‘YOU ARE HERE’ by Meenakshi Reddy…blogger-turned-author was another major event.

'Oh! The time is ripe' I said to myself…

The days that followed saw a dreamer…who kept aside his textbooks…stethoscope…what more…even my mobile phone…!!!(Nithin minus his mobile phone is a rare sight…and I promise…if there’s a paparazzo with a shot of me sitting without holding a mobile phone, let him try e-bay, he might get quite a lot of bucks!!!)


I recalled one of the most wonderful books I had read, ‘The god of small things’…the book that made me proud of being a malayalee (kudos to Arundhati Roy!!!)


I forgot simple questions like,

“Hey what would you do if your mobile phone didn’t have a thesaurus?”

“Hey what if Microsoft never added a spelling and grammar check or the auto-correct option?”

Yes…I had decided to become the new big thing…though in reality I was a ’blogger-turned-dreamer-turned eccentric medico’.

What did I have to fear? After all it is Nithin…the pompous-swashbuckling hero…with an ever-fresh mind ready to take up anything!!!

It didn’t take such a long time to return to the normal mood…

The following ‘events’ helped:


1) The article ‘Half naked in the flat’…a review of ‘You are here’ by Lakshmy Venkiteswaran (the New Sunday Express, Sep 14,2008)

“….Chetan Bhagat’s appalling and irksome novels becoming record-breaking best sellers”


2) The article ‘Book,booker,booked’…by Meena Kandasamy(the New Sunday Express, Sep 14,2008)

“The beginning of the book can give you a sense of déjà vu.

But after40 pages, you may skip paragraphs and then pages…”


3) The medical texts that I had kept arranged on my computer table-to remind me ‘I had lots to learn’!!!


4) A telephone conversation: “da remember Chetan graduated from IIT Delhi, then got into IIM-A, and finally settled…and then he penned his book…and you have too long a time ahead to graduate your MBBS”


5) The ever increasing tummy (ahem ahem de single mega pack) that the sedentary times I spent in front of my computer monitor had gifted me.


6) A recent exchange that took place in my kitchen

Chechi: ‘da get the uruli from the shelf, I can’t reach it’

Nithin: ‘Chechee…my eyes can’t catch a glimpse of the uruli…!!! Where is it?’

Chechi:’OH!!! This checkan (checkan=lad)…da an uruli is the thing that is right in front of your eyes.Take it’

Nithin: ‘ooops….i was searching for the tool that we use to make chapathees’

Chechi:’eeeeswaraaaaaa…nee ethu lokatha?(oh god…are you still on earth?)

I realised that being logical alone isn’t sufficient…URULI in Malayalam referred (as I had thought) to something round…!!! ‘Reality’ was different.


FINALLY I STEPPED BACK INTO THE WORLD WHERE PINCHING WOULD PAIN…


So world…’REST-IN-PEACE’…for now…


There will be a day.


A day...when… Kalidasa or Shakespeare will book tickets back to earth to thrash the newly unleashed terror!!!

Mera number aayega…!!!




Nithin:" So howzzat?"


Xyz: "Wow, Nithin, that’s a cool write-up. But why the hell are you so excited?


BLOGGING ain’t such a biiiig thing…"


Fortunately…I COULD RESIST FROM REPLYING


”F*&*% you”



(PS:K...Im baak...an official 'post' after a long time...this time...i need u 2 shoot...
holidayz r almost over...
;(
wid lots of luv...yers Nithin)

thanks 2 Smriti Srivasthava
and Amooma)

(I am one huge fan of Chetan Bhagat...and I am one guy who wishes for
Chetan's dreams of becoming India's favourite writer come true...
in my post i never compared myself to him...ooo...this has been typed in after going through the comment page)

50 comments:

nikhil said...

this i too long mann
to b be frank...i did'n't get the first 2 para right....so cant wait these long to get the full essense...hehe..may b sum otha time

Hemanth Potluri said...

dude lengthy post ..next warn me i wont come..lol...y do u have to compare with cheta ..he is diff guy with diff thoughts ..u r diff.every one has a unique thing..i to will be a author to a book ..lol..the 3 fools of me..:)..lol..just kiddin..but wat u rote is rite in some situations...:)..

urs..hemu..

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

hey hemanth...!!! c'mon i never compared !!! ooo...im a hard core fan of him dude..!!! gosh...!!!

five point sum1 is one book dat fascinated me more dan anythin i've read...!!! n chethan is a true inpiration!!!

;-)

peter said...

Main Sidney Sheldon bananna chahta hun :P

he he ..

Sarath said...

Though Five point someone was very good, I didn't particularly like 3 mistakes of my life...

Chetan Bhagat has to try something new.

And as 4 you, good post. Good use of pics - a style not seen among many bloggers.

amooma said...

already 5 comments?
u ought to give the link to the reviews so i could read them :) hey, chetan is already india's fav writer, wouldnt u say? i mean, when a rare book buyer like u buys his book, he has achieved his dream.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

You sure will make a bestseller in the genre of humor one day!

Good luck buddy :)

Hemanth Potluri said...

boss i was kidin man...i to have all his 3 books ..and i love to read them...then wen r u goin to rite one..book..:)..will be waiting to buy it..:)..ok i was kiddin with u and u dint ans my questions in the blog.....now that makes me angry..


urs..hemu..

Prashant Sree said...

Hey Nitin,

nice write up.,. Sabka number aata hai.,.. U wait ur turn.,. And hey i will share a secret with you.. It seems some paparozzi had few rare photos of you, and its been traded on black market.,.

Do something soon Man.,. Those are worth Millions. ;)

Smriti Srivastava said...

Sorry for being out of action... net connection going bonkers, coupled with bad health...yeah that's about it thats new. I just came in to check blog updates (on a dial-up connecion :()..and topping my updates was the doc...back again!!

Doc, frankly speaking I never liked Chetan Bhagat too much. His style of writing, is not what pleases me. But in all seriousness, I do love what the Dil ka Doc has to offer. "DKD" is my favourite blogger for a reason - he is unique, witty, funny...and what's not to like, he's a budding medico!!! That's an unconventional combo u know ;)

I sincerely wish you realise your dream, (I think Meenakshi Reddy's blog got popular for all the wrong reasons...), and in a few years, hopefully there'll be other bloggers in the blogosphere who'll say "Main Nithin Jayan Banna chahta hoon" :)

Cheers Doc!! >:D<

Smriti Srivastava said...

P.S. No offence to your liking for Chetan Bhagat.. I was fascinated with how 5PS started but it really didnt grip me. One night at call centre was OK. I didnt bother buying Three mistakes...I've been averse to anything related to cricket lately :(

Smriti Srivastava said...

P.P.S I cant believe you incorporated the "DKDKD" :))) ...SMILEYS SMILEYS SMILEYS.. :)

CottonWood said...

nice blog buddy..........good job :)

Divya said...

oye nithin saare! no worries, we shall all 'buy' and read your book.. rest assured :P


and i thought five point someone was fantastic.. din't quite like the other two tho... kinda like bollywood scripts..

Diva said...

I think the best part of the blog was your reaction to the guy who said- "BLOGGING ain’t such a biiiig thing…"..
I think he totally desserved that, and u shud hav actually said it!!! ;) ;) he he...
Well,I am quite a fan of Chetan Bhagat too;cos I think that the way he writes is sarcastically/ironically funny and the way he can turn terrible disaster-scenes into rib-tickling humour is simple marvellous!!!
Now I can see where you get a lil' bit of ur inspiration from!! Darn me, I should have realised it before!!!!!!

Well, I dream of writing a book too someday.. :P :P .. (It would take ages for me to write it though!, u kno me ;), please keep my secret, he he)
And,u kno wat...I want it to be ironically funny too.. may be a lil' like the Chetan Bhagat(the predecessor of Nithin Jayan) style infact ;) ;) .. he he...
But hey, We both got lots of time on hand ;) :P :P
So do not worry, there's a time for everything... And we have already taken our first steps in the long journey of the happniess and JOY called 'WRITING'....
HAIL BLOGOSPHERE!!!!!
We all will surely be more than bloggers someday :D :D :D

joiedevivre said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ANWESA said...

doctor saab,aap sach mein pagla gayen hain..chetan bhagat banna chahte hain,to likhna shuru kijiye.
kya pata,kal ko koi baccha bolega,main nithin jayan banna chahta hoon.
well,too much hindi..keep writing,who knows,kal kya ho jaaye..

Priya Joyce said...

u've got another award k

joiedevivre said...

hmm lik ur sripit
but it was too long, mayb m writing so short dese days m not able to go for long post
haha

tc

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@peter :hmmm...sheldon ha!!! sure !!!:)

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

Sarath:true dear 5PS rocked...but 3mistakes didnt do fine!!! n thxs he he those wer photoshop works

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

*~*{Sameera}*~*: wow!!! best seller..!! huray!!!! he he...

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@Prashant Sree: ooops really??? wat 2 do yaar...paparazzi go on followin wer evr i go!!!

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@CottonWood : wow...n welcum 2 m y blog mate...!!! keep in touch!!!

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@Divya : absolutely true mate...esp de climax parts of 3 mistakes...truly bollywood like..

n yeah!!! so ull b de first 2 get my autographed buk he he!!!

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@ANWESA :lord!!!gal overdose of hindi...grrr...PAPU CANT SPEAK HINDI SALA!!!! HE HE...

niway...!!! cant reply in hindi...yeah...tomorrow might b history!!!!!!!!!

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@joiedevivre: aha...sumtimes length matters he he...life's brief but evry1 wants happiness 2 last looooong na!!!!

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@diva::::: same pinch he he...n ill start praying 4 a day wen dis gal is 'free'....cos im one of de few in dis globe who knows how "busy" dis microsoft gal is..always keepin me waitin 4 'hours' 2 wait 4 replies he he....!!!

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@smriti:::: once again ma top commentator he he...overtook hemanth wid n once again u top de 'top commentators' list...!!

DKDKD...!!! u hav de exclusive rights on de title mate...!!!

n offence?? no dear...!!! i luvd 5point sum1 so much but not 3mistake..im yet 2 read one night...!!!

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@priya::: honesty award???wowwww coooollllllll

Smriti Srivastava said...

err... I think I blogged again :P

Smriti Srivastava said...

YOU are number three on your commentator list??? Nice!!! ;)

Aqua gurl said...

32 comments...wowow.....sorryy for being so late re:P:P

ive heard so much abt this author....tried getting the book here....but it was booked by someone else in the library....its on my read list for next summer though:P:P

AS for you becoming chetan bhagat...ahh lemme read his books pehley phir will comment:D:D

peace doc!!!

Aneesh said...

Cool! Funny post.
'Njoyed reading it :)

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@smriti:Grr...de top commentator widget has some java prob not my fault...hmm im gonna remove it
@aquagal:in that case u should read de first book alone!
@aneesh:thanks dude grr niway

--xh-- said...

dey kochu - u want my frank opinion? dont try to become like chetan bhagat.. i ain't saying he is no good. he is a good writer, adn his books are good for an hour of reading time. but when you aim aim for something ground breaking da...

one day, u can get a publisher - and who knows, may be you will become a doctor with a million dollor signature.

that uruli conversation was fantastic :-D

dey machu - hv u been to this blog - http://justamotheroftwo.blogspot.com/

her name is Preeti Sathish and she is a published author.

Saranya said...

lol, so I ve just got known an indian writer! :D
nice write up. :)

Priya Joyce said...

I must say Nithin u have put it very well though u feel its long wen u start but with the advancement line by line u feel tat each line is pulling and taking to read the next one.
And i shud also say tat u have the talent to keep the reader attracted to ur post
I actually thought u r a very light hearted guy who says and does things on a funny note.
But now i feel tat was a prejudice i had.

then about the article i wud say that wen we say we wanna become this and like tat person then its normal that people say first study ur subject properly yes advice is always free but i feel its a kind of a discouraging one.
and then i can say for tat u'll some day become like Chetan bhagat whether its after 2 yrs or 20 i can see in u great passion for writing.

Pooja said...

loved it...truly...really...4m d bottom mah heart...

thank God dreams r not taxed...othrwise i wud hav been a beggar...

i loved "The God of small Things"...hav gone thru it innumerable tyms...

Pooja said...

n yeah..."Five Point Someone" rocked!!!

divya said...

hmmm...style is gud though u cud use better words! da, u can make it..but keep in mind that chetan is a guy who writes simple n crystal clear..thts y he conveys easily...so better make the stuff clear rather than making it complex.....moreover my dear docs, chetan bhagat can wait for ur leisure time...better concentrate on ur studies n get a sthethoscope arnd ur neck permanently. or else ur amma n dad will literally lit up ur long tail very soon;-)

Akshaya Kamalnath said...

Ha I love the line, dreams arent taxed...but keep trying...even I'm trying to write my book amidst law school and all that jazz...god knows when I'll finish...because in the real world, you have projects to finish and internships to do.

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@--xh--

hey he he..yeah buddzz...de million dollar signature is on de way...

@saranya: yeyy..cool...!!!

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@Akshaya Kamalnath :woww...same pinch buddy..!!!!

@divya: hey hey..chechhee u here?? hmmm...'yeah de better words stuff' is already under consideration he he...k..k..ill go bak 2 medical buks..ngeee....

@priya: dear..u really made my day or year or watever...!! is der a cloud number 10???

@pooja: thxs mate...im really happeee...5 point sum1 rocked, but i didnt like One night@de call centre.. ;(

Pooja said...

same pinch...

even i didnt lyk it much...

north said...

i enjoy to read all nice comments...

Tele said...

That strikes a cord. ;)
Me toovWanna become Chetan Bhagat!! ;)

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@pooja

:) cheers

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@north

:)

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

@tele

:) I actually I have withdrawn my support for him !!! He committed a gross error by joining twitter. Twitter exposed his weak-points!!! But yeah he still inspires the budding writer in me!