Sunday, July 10, 2011

Dr.


Where exactly did you hear the heart sounds?

With a rather exuberant gush of confidence, my index finger pointed to somewhere a few centimeters away from the mother’s umbilicus.

Impressive, but I’m afraid the USG revealed a dead foetus hours ago.

I saw no point in blaming my Littman anymore. I walked out of the ward.

Beep beep…beep beep….

Wake up Joe. It’s your phone.

9:13pm. So I’d really dozed off. Again.

I had never performed a venous cut down before. Her burnt body evoked a terrible sense of sympathy in me. I hesitated to make the first incision.

Don’t worry Joe, with 60% burns she won’t survive anyway. You’ve got too many lives to save.

I normally respect the words of a Post Graduate. But I still wonder what forced me to remove the gloves and walk away.

Beep beep…beep beep…

Where I stood now was filled with a cacophony, and it did not smell too good, either.

Now that’s for her own good brother. If you don’t do it now she’ll lose her leg soon.

So that’s it. The lady’s wails didn’t deter me from cutting her flesh off. The barbarian in me carried on his work till he saw fresh blood. There was little slough left to be chopped off.

Beep beep…beep beep…

Am I supposed to wait till the flow stops?

The PG stared at me, nonplussed.

Now CSF is what is being siphoned out and you ask me this?

Oh! I’d gotten carried away.

Yeah, you should be. The nursing student is a charming view.

A violent tremor.

Slept off again Sir? It’ll take another fifteen minutes, I suppose.

This whole journey must have shed a few kilos of mine. This ambulance should be older than me. I glanced back. The young lady was comfortable with her head resting on her husband’s lap.

Poor thing, I hope it’s not an ectopic. I hardly attempted to console the couple. Not because I was iron hearted. The couple spoke the kind of Hindi that our driver, an experienced authority, couldn’t decipher.

Finally we reached a tertiary care setup. We rushed to the Department of Radiodiagnosis.

Dark room. Radiologist.Nurse. The Hindi patient. Young doctor.


Except for the physical presence, I knew little about the intricacies of ultrasound imaging.

Okay. Radiologist- "Where's the condom?"

Err...I return her nothing but a startled look. She extends her hands to the nurse. The nurse searches the table and hands her something.

Ahem.

She turns to me. My expression should have carried her to any of the viva voce sessions she passed through as an undergraduate.

"Well I need a trans vaginal ultrasound for her. Hmmm do you prefer to share this room or..."

I could hardly give her time to complete. I rushed out of the room; out of the scan center.

Crossed the road.

Bought a bottle of mineral water.

Finished it. Waited (along with the husband) for the scanning process to be over.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“At last, here we are”, driver broke the silence.

“Joe, wake up. Here, wear your specs and ehh wipe you face”

Yawns. Stretches.

The couple stepped out of the car. A huge banner welcomed them all.

‘DOS ENSEMBLE’

Now what does that mean any way?

The Alumni meet kick started in an hour.

(CSF: Cerebro Spinal Fluid. Often tapped for diagnostic studies)


(Contains part of a previous post

Dark room, Radiologist and Condom)


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Dogs, Cats and Docs


One of the things that I hate about the Medical College wards is the uncontrolled feline invasion. I wouldn't like to spoil this post by adding an overdose of words.



These shots come from where you get 'anti-rabies' shots :) Now gah shoot me for the sarcasm.

Dogs in the title refer to the myriad of dogs found in the campus. Oof...now I should stop here, too much of irony.