I stood facing the door. Fear would wear out any moment from now. Walking towards it was never my choice. I will now quit the search that I started aeons ago; the search for that invisible force that drove me. No more wasted seconds on it. A rather mundane home called ‘Life’ now has a frequent visitor. ‘Revelations’ is what he calls himself. I do remember one or two instances when I beckoned him, held his hands, brought him in, and served him tea. We talked for hours. I still curse the very moment I felt like telling him, “Don’t forget that signboard, my home’s just a minute from there.” What an unrefined guest he is? Or is it that my gestures still fail to speak my disapproval of his frequent visits? Today is yet another day; he will walk in any moment. Against my choice, he will hold me like his kid, and we would walk through that door. In his presence I am always a baffled listener with mouth wide open, a clamorous pounding heart and at times with goose flesh. He just smiles, as if he never spoke a word. The foundation of Life was laid 23 years back. Revelations is definitely older than anyone I know of. He says that we had actually met a long time before the ‘very first rendezvous that I speak about.’ I don’t have the faintest memory of that anyway. Who cares? I hate him.
Life is about to be taken over. It’s a shame, I know, when the new owner is being held back by Fear. I never knew that he existed. It has just been days since I was told, “Be ready my son, Life will soon be yours.” He appeared from now where. I always knew that something more real exists beyond that yet-to –be-explored door. That piece of information was again conveyed to me last summer by Revelations. Fear clocked in; I still remember that evil grin. “You can’t keep me away from that door for long mate,” I would say and Fear wouldn’t even blink.
I am confused; I hate Revelations, yet here I am waiting for him; I hate Fear, yet here I am using him as an excuse. The door is ajar.
And he walked in...