Saturday, July 18, 2009

SWAYAMVARA-de ‘Inverse’ one...

(not produced by Ekta kapoor!!!)



It’s raining n raining n raining. The room temperature is too soothing that I find it hard to rise. Well Soorya is already smiling from the east. Long have I been planning to delay his morning rush...hmmm...twice I tried unscrewing the wheels of that chariot...bribed his driver...nothing ever worked. Hmmm...and that meant...Mom’s gonna let me sleep only till the sunrays hit my butts...ooo...sorry...a prince has to have better control over his tongue...oh you boneless thing...hold yourself.

Well with due respect to the Readers’ Protection Act (RPA), here i reveal who i am.

Well I am Prince Vaimukya...the younger son of The lord of Vishathapura. Dad...passed the RPA weeks back, “Every reader has his/her rights to understand what he/she is reading”. Well he is a genius...no no not ‘coz he’s my dad.

Well today is the d-day...it’s my ‘inverse swayamvara’. Puzzled...? Don’t worry...the whole world is...at this moment. Never before has the term ‘inverse swayamvara’ echoed in any kingdom on earth. Told you right?...dad’s a genius...!!!

The prettiest damsels from every nook of the globe will be here...today...n I...Prince Vaimukya will choose...my bride.


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

NAAARADAAAAAAAA...what r ye doing here...how many times should I repeat...?? There’s a door over there that u can knock...

Narada: Ooo...sorry prince...too much is the care that I have for ye...how can poor narada prevent himself from rushing to the aid of the handsome prince.
Prince: Oh well...good...what’s the hot news...??? And hey if it’s evil...im not gonna leave you this time...get ready for a septorhinoplasty...I hear that Sushrutha’s grand grand son has already graduated.

Narada: No no prince...i’m here with a piece of golden advice...

Prince: Yeah the last advice you bestowed me with cost me the girl i loved.

Narada: Ooo...Pricess Shudhika from the neighbourhood??? C’MON i saved u my prince. Did you hear? She married...last week...she flooded the rostrum with her tears...when her parents said bye...and the new groom was all smiling.

I hear now that the situation reversed...the husband is now weeping n the princess “tee-hee”

Prince: oo...k...What’s it now...?

Narada: This time i’m wise...prince...You are about to select your soul mate...I sneaked through the applications. All look good...but don’t you fall in for the beauty...some are fair....but don’t trust that too...roses do have thorns but that doesn’t mean amanitas aren’t toxic...

Prince: So u r telling both...i shouldn’t be lured by beauty...neither should i fall in for modesty and simplicity. Tell me oh sage...what should i go for?

Narada: LUCK...!!! Yes prince...never can you trust your vision...not even the senses are reliable...Just imagine, it's the first night and the pretty English rose says she ain't a virgin??


Prince: Hmm...i'm a liberal...you see...

Narada: Ha ha...really sure...?? I was telling about "YOUR" first night...n 'your' wife...
Prince: Hmmm...it's hard to imagine...but...
Narada: That's it...anyone can bluff till stuffs happen in their own lives...!!! This is why i said...it’s just LUCK...

Prince: Well...i won't divorce her anyway...what if her heart is pure? But...true I’ll have to bear the pain...still...

Narada: Marriage is a lucky draw...o prince...sometimes the ticket you pick is the lucky one...you hit the lucky draw...else it remains in your pocket as a worthless piece of paper...

Prince: o...ooo...now you've lit the lamp of perplexity in my brain...come with me then o farsighted sage...help me choose the best...


Vigneswara...hope everything goes well...DAAD...I'm ready...

Queen: Oh! Handsome prince...wishing you the very best...

Dad: (ha ha...so my son's gonna land up in the same dungeon i fell into years back...god save him) Good luck son...

Narada: (invisible) Prince, check her out...that's princess Lakshana...

Prince: Aaha...i've seen her before...at the Chandrotsava last month...hmmm...long hair...nice saree...chubby cheeks...cute smile...

Narada: She dances...she sings...hmmm...she's a woman of letters too...

Prince: ooo Narada...this is my girl...the one i've been waiting for...ages have i spent waiting...miles have i tread searching...

Narada: That dialogue was used when u met Shudhika...

Prince: How dare you remind me of her again...you good for nothing sage...ready to face my vengeance??

Narada: oh no prince...i'm sorry...hmmm i think this 'is' the girl...!!!

What followed was a biiiiig faaaat wedding....the biggest one ever held...

Did the prince get lucky??

NAARAYANA NAARAYANA...



Thursday, July 9, 2009

BRICs n Building BlocZ


R: Amer is falling...didn’t you hear?

B: Yeah...but who cares?

C: Who cares? C’mon he controls it all man...everything under the sun.

I: Exactly...his dogs bark as if the whole colony needs them

R: Hmmm...It’s time for an innovation

B: I’m not really sure if time’s ripe

I: No way...i donno if better time’s will sprout up.

R: Thumps up...

C: Exactly...Amer is the best orator i’ve seen...n it seems he thinks no further than getting
cheered 4 de speeches

B: You know what...my young kid recently contested for her class leadership...n she was promising more holidays fewer home works. When i asked her...she winked...she said ‘Amer taught her’.

R: So what’s the plan?

I: We prove that we r immune to pressures. We strive for multipolarity. No more global policemen...rather v’ll share our watchdogs...

C: And v start using our own vehicles to trade...

B: Yeah...let’s give Amer time to re-buit...lower the pressure.

R: Hey i’m feeling thrilled...8 long years of thinking...and now we r gonna act...

C: Hmmm...i have doubts...

I: ???

C: Well pals...someone’s gotta lead right? He he hmmm...well consider this...my family’s gross
home product...the GHP outstrips that of all 3 of yers combined...

B: C’mon everyone has his say. See the colony still cultivate with the tractor i designed...

R: Yeah n the temples still burn the incense sticks i sell...

I: I am still red at Chindler’s support to Pakson. You people have no idea how naughty his kids are.

R: Cheers...n i’m against his pesty intrusion at my unoccupied house at the other side of the road.

B: Too many differences...too little in common...he he...but guys don’t forget...it’s election next week...v have just 10% of the votes when Amer has 17%. Unless we have workouts the Colony Monetary Funds won’t favour us.

C: Too long a distance to travel. But guys...let’s do it...

CHEEEEERS

(40% OF THE WORLD’S POPULATION...20% of the global GDP...half of the Global currency reserves...BRIC strives for changing International Orders...!!!)
(Based on CHANGING ORDER by Vladimir Radyuhin, Frontline July17,2009)



Thanks to:http://cartoonistsatish.blogspot.com/

(NB: Unfortunately wid my practical exams postponed i've nothing else to do these days...so keep buckled up...more on the way...)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

a RuMbLE in de MCH


Starring: A rusty elevator at one dark corner of the Medical College Hospital

Me:Uncle...hey hey...watz mr.Quilon doin here...? :)

Uncle: Wow...who do i have here jr.dr...gr8

Me: :) So uncle howz aunt doin?

Uncle: Oh she’s wid me son. We’ve got an appointment wid de neurologist. It’s our first visit to here. Tell me where his room is...

Me: errr...hmmm...yeah gotcha...it’s downstairs uncle...come i’ll give an official escort...

Uncle: Oh no way...can’t disturb u...itz study hours right?

Me: No probs uncle...it’s de clinical postings...now @ de dept. Of ENT...hmm technically otorhinolaryngology

Uncle: K...she’ll find it hard 2 walk dear...

Me: Letz fly down then...ta ta da...here v move towards de lift...

Uncle: He he...c’mon son.

En route...i kept on chatting wid aunt...she looked older n weaker...poor thing...unknown condition that’s weakening her limb muscles...

At last...here v r....hey itz spooky right here...god...y is dis corner of de abode of clamouring patients so dead silent? Haven’t i stepped here b4? I was puzzled...!!!

Uncle: ooo...wat do v hav here?

Me: Exactly uncle...that’s what im thinking...n ahem ahem...2 b honest i’ve never noticed this corner...

Facing us was a mammoth door that seemed to be sealed in the Jurassic era. The red colour didn’t shine. I searched for the lift button.

Me: Oh i’ve competition...a spider seems to have been searching for it since time immemorial...and in the process he probably raised a whole family. A strong spider web was shaking at my voice.

Hello...nibody der???

A nurse peeped through a nearby room..."oh doctorji...sorry...de button won’t work. Your coat might burn!!!"

Me: Am i supposed to knock the door then n shout ‘tic tic sumone der?’

BINGO dOCTORji...

Uncle: omg


KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Uncle: Open sesame...

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Me: Oh this is bad really bad.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

Hey do i hear something

Uncle: Lemme press my ear to the door.

Aunt: Hey Ravi...lend your stethoscope to him...

Me: he he (errr...holy shit y so...)

Me: Uncle...leave it...i think aunt needs some kinda ‘physiotherapy’ lemme test het motor functions.

Uncle: Hmm werz de ramp?

Me: STAIRCASE...

Aunt: No ramp???

Me: (disappointed) Not in the vicinity...

We started to wheel her towards the staircase few metres away...

CREEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK..RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..RUMPPPPPPPPPPPP......THUDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Uncle: OH MY GOD...EARTHQUAKE?? HE HE

Another patient from a distance: Hey lucky people...de LIFT GOD IS PLEASED WID U IT SEEMS...man itz a blue moon!!!

The door opened wid a roar...An angry sleepy lift operator was busy reading the newspaper...

“The next time u knock try something harder say...a knee hammer made of titanium...doctor ji...

(Dedicated to the Hon'ble Kerala Health Minister PK Sreemathi)

Though exaggerated to extremes the real scenario ain't really good.



Sunday, July 5, 2009

“I” “ME” n “MYSELF”






Finally i discovered the panacea...

Well i found the key to ecstasy...

Why spend all years of my existence complaining...

Nothing would change...at least within the next few generations.

Air would only get thicker...water would only taste more chemical...sea levels would only rise...Women will keep on getting raped...the dark will continue in the shadows...little will be the space to thrive...tramps will keep filling the footpaths...

More misery...little bread, more pills...battery life and power supply will decide when love n care flows...tyrants will rise and fall...you get killed or you kill yourself...

The bulb lit a thousand times...

First i tried packing my ears...cries wouldn’t strike my drum...

But i wouldn’t be safe...i wouldn’t hear the horns...

Then did i cover my eyes...i wouldn’t see his empty guts...

But i wouldn’t be safe...i couldn’t cross a road...

I thought...why not pack my nose...

Nothing would change...why kill my self...

Finally i discovered the panacea...

Well i found the key to ecstasy...

Why spend all years of my existence complaining...

Why tread more paths searching for lights...

To change is the law of nature they say...

Then why not change myself...

I would bring down the walls...

Clear my path...

Let my flesh and blood follow...

My world...and i would rule...

No harm would i cause...

No tears would i create...

My own land...but never would i cross your fence...

mY WorlD n i rULe


(NB: Don't panic if de number 9037358909 hits yer screens...im tryin out de new tata docomo...nopes needn't save it...coz as any new innovations dis one wont last long..old number persist !!! Applicable 2 all nookes outside Kerala...esp Hemz, Smriti, Diana, Divya, Archana, Anup)